Our Pet Girl
by Crouching Moron and The Dork
Summary: Megan Potter (yeah, Harry's daughter, but it gets interesting) was a rambuctious fifth year in the year 2018, without a care in the world. But what will she be like in a time before hers. In a time before her parents? Oo, you know you want to find out...
1. Agent Negative FortyFour Seduces Mr Malf...

Mal: This is the story we came up with on vacation.  
  
Ash: The insanity that ensues in this story is due to the boredom caused by being up until 2:30 everynight  
  
Mal: Yup, well, I ACTUALLY started this story. I came up with the idea  
  
Ash: Yeah but I helped alot so I got to be in it too. Oh, and we don't own anything except Megan and a whole bunch o' the characters.   
  
Mal: So no one can sue us.  
  
Ash: At least not for copywrite infringment.  
  
Mal: That reminds me when is your sexual harrasment hearing?  
  
Ash: Oh, Jimmy Fallon dropped the charges...  
  
Mal: Alrighty then... ON WITH THE STORY  
  
Part 1-  
  
Megan Potter grabbed the golden handle on the right double door to the entry way. She walked into the foyer and knocked off her white tennis shoes. With a thunderous, echoing clap they landed in the big empty hallway. She wiggled her toes in her white socks and skipped over the marble stairs leading from the foyer and slid into the hallway on the tile. She skidded into the dining hall and practically flew by the seemingly floating newspaper and into the plate cabinet. She landed on her bottom and broke about three plates.  
  
"Hello, Megan. You know you're not allowed to be here." Said the man from behind the newspaper. His voice was cold and unwaviering, very monotone and angry.  
  
"Mr. Malfoy, you know you want me to be over here. You know you love having me at the house. Only because you want my loving." She said and sat down at the chair across from him.  
  
"I do not." He said finally looking around the Daily Prophet. She smiled at him and poured herself a glass of milk. He stared menacingly at the white liquid sloshing into and out of the glass. "Do you plan on cleaning that up?"  
  
"So, where's Juliet?" She asked and took a big gulp of milk.  
  
"I do not know who that is." He said and folded the paper in his lap.  
  
"Ok then, if you're gonna be like that... Louie?" She said and propped her feet on the table. He pushed them off and stared her down.  
  
"There is no one by that name in this house."  
  
"Jumpin Jesus on a pogo stick! Master Julius Malfoy of the great and prestigious Malfoys?"  
  
"I believe he is sleeping." He said and went back to the paper.  
  
"Ah, video games, they'll keep you up at night." She said and jumped up and walked towards the kitchen. Draco heard her slamming cabinet doors.  
  
"Those Muggle toys of destruction? They will not be in my home." He said.  
  
"But, they are! There are so many Muggle things in your home! Like Lucky Charms." She said and came out of the kitchen holding a box of the cereal and went back to the table and made herself a bowl.  
  
"They are putrid." He said.  
  
"Mr. Malfoy, you need to know that Muggle things are here! They're here and they're Queer! Say it with me now!"  
  
"I will not."  
  
"Speaking of queers, do you know what the queers are doing to the soil?"  
  
"I don't care." Megan jumped out of her chair and started pacing back and forth along the front of the table. She seemed completely detached from Draco Malfoy's presence before her.  
  
"I learned about all this about ten years ago,"  
  
"You would have been five."  
  
"When my eldest son Bill Junior died."  
  
"You don't have a son."  
  
"You know that carnival that comes to town every year?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Well this year they brought a ride called the Mixer. The guy says, 'Keep your hands and arms inside the Mixer at all times. But Bill Junior, he was a DAREDEVIL, just like his old man." She said and pointed to her chest with her thumb.  
  
"You're not a man."  
  
"He was hanging out the side of the Mixer shouting, 'He everybody, look at me! Look at me.' HE WAS DECAPITATED! They found his head over by the Sno-Cone concession. A few days later I found a pamphlet in the mailbox addressed to Bill Junior. It was from Pueblo, Colorado and it said: 'Do you know what the queers are doing to the soil?'"  
  
"And again I say, I don't care."  
  
"Now, look at the soil around any big city with an underground Homosexual population. Des Moines, Iowa, perfect example."  
  
"Des Moines, Iowa?" He inquired.  
  
"Nothing grows there. The government says it's due to poor farming. But I know the truth! The queers are making landing strips, for gay Martians!" She tried to continue with her soliloquy when Mr. Malfoy cut her off.  
  
"What in God's name are you rambling on about now?" He barked.  
  
"You know, Mr. Malfoy, you really ought to get in touch with your son's music." She said and sat back down and started eating the rest of her cereal.  
  
"It's Muggle music."  
  
"Say it again with me: Say it loud I'm Muggle and I'm proud."  
  
"I'm not and why would you be proud of such a flaw?"  
  
"You know, I'm half Muggle."  
  
"All the more reason for me to hate you."  
  
"I know why you hate me; it's mostly about my dad. But you and I, we have a lot of things in common." She said pointing to each of them in turn.  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"You hate my dad, I hate my dad. You like to make my dad miserable, I enjoy that too." She said.  
  
"You're right, I do hate your dad." He said with a mischievous smile.  
  
"And I know you're a Death Eater. Bup! Don't deny it! I've seen your dark materials. I've seen the whips; I've seen the anal balls!"  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about."  
  
"If you hated me so much, why haven't you shipped me off to Voldemort yet?" She said and raised an eyebrow with the spoon hovering over bowl. "I could take him! I'll kill his bony ass!"  
  
"DO NOT TALK THAT WAY ABOUT MY MASTER!" He stood up and howled at her.  
  
"AHA! I knew it! You just admitted it!"  
  
"Admitted what?" He sat back down slowly, lowering himself into his dark, mahogany chair that matched the rest of the table and chairs.  
  
"That Voldemort was your master." She said in a mocking voice and crossed her eyes.  
  
"I said nothing of the sort." He said and sat back down, realizing his mistake.  
  
"Riiight." She said in an unconvinced tone. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone Mr. Malfoy. Especially not my dad, the soon-to-be Minister of Magic."  
  
"You do know that I'm running too." He said.  
  
"Yeah, and if I were old enough to vote, I'd vote for you." She said with a smile. "But let's not fool ourselves, my dad IS the boy who lived." She said. "But I wouldn't waste my vote."  
  
"Go home Megan." He scowled.  
  
"I have a proposition that could help us both." She said and dropped her spoon.  
  
"What now?"  
  
"Well, it's something that could really piss off my dad."  
  
"And what is that." He said mischievously, he seemed interested. Suddenly she jumped up on the table and cleared it of it's contents by kicking it all onto the floor with milk and porcelain bowls flying everywhere. She dropped on her back and flailed her arms and legs.  
  
"TAKE ME NOW MR. MALFOY!" She screamed. Just then, Louie Malfoy walked into the dining room in dingy jeans and a gray shirt and no shoes. He squinted oddly at Megan, laying out on the table in front of his father. He smacked his lips together and shook his head.  
  
"Would you quit trying to seduce my father." He said sleepily. Megan sat up on the table with her legs dangling off the side and her sock covered toes barely gracing the floor.  
  
"Louie, if I stopped doing that, why would I come over?" She said and followed him with her eyes as he got some food from the kitchen.  
  
"And me being your best friend and all means absolutely nothing." He said.  
  
"It's best that you know the truth." She said when he came back in with his bowl of cereal. His shaggy brown hair was matted to his face by sweat.  
  
"Dad, when are we going to get an air conditioner?" He asked, wiping the sweat from his brow.  
  
"Muggle device." He mumbled. Louie rolled his eyes and sat in his usual chair and began to eat his breakfest.  
  
"Megan, dear, please get off the table." Said a sweet voice from the doorway. It was Mrs. Iris Malfoy. She sighed and looked down at the floor with the broken dishes and food all over it. "I just cleaned the floors yesterday."  
  
"Don't you mean you had the House Elves do it?" Megan asked and hopped down from the table. Megan went back to her chair and crossed her legs under her butt. "I've noticed something, Mr. Malfoy." She said with a spoonful of Lucky Charms in her mouth.  
  
"That's a first." Draco said and straightened out his paper.  
  
"You have some very unsturdy dishes. Everytime I'm here I break about twelve dishes!" She said in amazement. "At first I felt bad about it but then I realized that you guys are so filthy stinkin rich you can just buy a new china set every day! And then I thought to myself, I said self, there must be something wrong with these dishes cause at my house I jump on them, I throw them, Hell, me and Matt, we play Frisbee with them sometimes."  
  
"Oh great, the Mudblood's here." He said under his breath. Radcliff Malfoy, the oldest Malfoy son, came in the room and turned right back around when he saw Megan sitting at the table.  
  
"Hey, how's it hangin Pencil-dick?" She said. Radcliff turned back around and flipped Megan the finger behind his parent's backs. "Right back at ya!" She said with a wink.  
  
"So, Megan, do you have your things?" Said Mrs. Malfoy with a big smile.  
  
"Things? What things? She has no things here! She's here and she's leaving now! Go, Megan, leave!" Draco said in a fit of shock. 'My worst fear is coming true, the girl is moving in!' He thought.  
  
"Megan is staying for the weekend." Iris said and placed a hand over Draco's. She glowered at him angrily.  
  
"No, she's not." he said pounding his fists on the table.  
  
"Oh you want me to stay longer! I feel so special." Megan said and jumped up onto the table and walked over to Mr. Malfoy for a hug.  
  
"Don't touch me." He said as she almost strangled him. He pushed her away and she feel of the table with some loud cursing. "She's not supposed to be here! We set up rule when they became friends. Potter doesn't go into the Malfoy house, Malfoy doesn't got into the Potter house."  
  
"I don't know why she can't stay over." Iris said with a smile. Draco looked like he was thinking.  
  
"Friends!" He exclaimed. "That's right, my friends are coming over." Iris looked at her husband skeptically.  
  
"So, your friends will find her delightful. Everyone does. I think they'll love her" She said and clasped her hands together daintily in her lap.  
  
"Yeah, they'll love having her here so they can take her to the Dark Lord." He muttered involuntarily. The entire room shot their heads at him in shock. "I mean they'll love taking her to the park, Lord I hate having her here."  
  
"Yeah, that's what you said Dad, loud and clear..." Louie said and kept eating.  
  
"She's staying and that's final." Iris said with her eyes bulging out of their sockets.  
  
"She's leaving and that's final." He said and beat his fist on the table knocking the fork against the plate.  
  
"I feel so important, Louie, everyone's fighting over little old me!" She said and grabbed his arm gleefully. Louie rolled is eyes and the Malfoys ignored her.  
  
"Look, Draco, do you want to lose ALL your hair, because I know that hair line is receding!" Iris threatened.  
  
"I'm losing my hair because of her!" He roared at her but looked at Megan.  
  
"Don't interrupt me you bastard!" She yelled louder then he had. Megan sat in her chair looking at Mrs. Malfoy aghast, this sweet little woman had just turned into a ferocious beast. "Look I can cast a spell on all of your hair tools and your pillow and anything that could EVER touch your head! They will suck up hair like a friekin vacuum!"  
  
"Fine, I'm going to work." He shouted and got up from the table.  
  
"Fine, because I don't want you here." She said calmly. He breathed heavily through his nose fiercely like a bull and stormed out of the house slamming the door loudly.  
  
  
***  
  
The doorbell rang loudly and the notes chimed throughout the house. Iris flitted briefly with a plate of cookies. And wiped her hands on a towel on her way to the entrance hall. But she was too late. Megan had already come to the door. The three men stood in the door way and looked at her smiling face in their presence.  
  
"Who are you?" A tall, bulky man said.  
  
"I'm a thief and I'm taking this house hostage. I've got a crane out back, we're goin to California for some Marijuana." They looked at her like she was nuts. "Yeah, that's right I've already killed Draco, you're gonna be next if you don't quit giving me the stink eye."  
  
"What are you raving about, who are you?" The man repeated.  
  
"Ok, you caught me, I'm actually..." She crouched down with her fingers molded into a gun and pulled some sunglasses out of her back pocket and put them on her eyes. Her face stern and her lips pursed she deepened her voiced and backed away. "Agent Negative Forty-Four, and you're under arrest." She said and harkened them into the house.  
  
"Oh, did the Malfoys take you in from the home for the mentally retarded?" Said an elderly, fat man.  
  
"No you Japanese Midget!" She said and began to walk seductively to them with her fingers still up by her head like a gun. "I'm a secret agent for the Ministry of Magic and you are under arrest."  
  
"For what?" Said the only man who had yet to speak.  
  
"Don't act like you don't know! That's right, I know all about you Mr. Goyle, Mr. Crabbe, Mr. Fuji." The elderly man shook his head in a confused way.  
  
"My name is Harold Burbank."  
  
"Now I know, and can put that in my notes." She raised an eyebrow. "But you three are under arrest for being Death Eaters and killing countless people with the Unforgivable Curses, that are unforgivable, hence the name." She said dramatically. The men gasped and drew their wands.  
  
"WHO ARE YOU!" The man said once again.  
  
"Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, take a breather, Chicken Little." She said and shook her flat hands around her ears.  
  
"WHO ARE YOU! I'M SICK OF ASKING!" Harold Burbank bellowed again.  
  
"AGENT NEGATIVE FORTY-FOUR!" She yelled back.  
  
"No, your real name!" Said one of the others.  
  
" Megan." She said and cradled her chin in her hands. "Look, chill out guys, I'm not gonna arrest you! I'm 15."  
  
"How did you know we were Death Eater then?" They asked backing away slowly.  
  
"My dad told me, you know, the soon to be Minister of Magic."  
  
"Draco?"  
  
"Do I look like a Malfoy, I actually have pigment in my skin. The other guy running."  
  
"THE BOY WHO LIVED!" They became menacing again after finding out this fact. Louie rounded the corner by the stair case at that moment.  
  
"Somebody's gonna die!" He said and left her alone.  
  
"YOU AREN'T HELPFUL!" She wailed.  
  
"What do you three think you are doing!" Iris Malfoy entered the room and brought new meaning to the phrase: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. And boy, was she scorned. She bounded to Megan's side and pushed her behind her back and stared menacingly at the men. Harold Burbank drew back quickly while Crabbe and Goyle already had their wands away by the first sound of her voice. "Harold, there is a no-wand mandate in this house and you know that! You want to wave wands with someone, you'll do it with me. Megan is a guest in my home just as you are and you'll be leaving before she does." She said calmly, spacing her words apart and with clairity for the three thick-headed men's sakes.  
  
Megan stayed up in Louie's room for the majority of the night. When they were called down for dinner Megan was trying to jump over a mushroom in Marioland. She reluctanly came down the stairs and hid behind Louie tenativley. She sat beside Louie at the table and sat quietly with her hands in her lap waiting to eat and then go back up to Louie's room. Draco's 'friends' were frightening. They began to discuss buisness.  
  
"Well, Draco, you seem slightly, how do I put this delicatly?" Said Vincint Crabbe poking at his salad.  
  
"Mean." Megan murmered into her lap. The four men shot evil glares at her the moment she spoke. Draco looked like he was about to say something when Megan intercepted the conversation. "Do you want to know what I think?"  
  
"They don't care." Louie said in a warning tone and grabbed the crook of her elbow to get her attention.  
  
"I couldn't have said it better myself." Radcliffe said haughtily with his arms crossed, he was sitting directly across from her. She looked over at him with her mouth agape.  
  
"Bite me, you little shit." She growled.  
  
"Sorry, I don't like the taste of Mud." He said and cocked his jaw and popped his eyebrows quickly.  
  
"Well, I don't like the tast of piss. Piss-ant!" She retorted. Radcliffe rolled his eyes and Iris came back in the room with a bowl of spaghetti.  
  
"No cursing at the table, Megan, dear." She said and patted her hand. She went to sit down next to Draco. Rudolf Goyle looked over at Draco with confusion in his eyes.  
  
"You let the Mudblood talk to him like that?"  
  
"Even if I said she couldn't she still would." He said and rubbed his temples.  
  
"You can't call me that." She said, outraged.  
  
"Why the hell not?" Harold said then looked in his lap after being eyed down by Iris.  
  
"Because I prefer Dirtyveins! No you bastard! Because it's a derogatory term that offends me." She said and crossed her arms. Louie looked at her, perplexed.  
  
"You use the term all the time."   
  
"I can, you can't. Being one gives me the right." She said plainly.  
  
"That makes no sense." He said and searched the celing for answers.  
  
"It's a Mudblood thing." She said and waved him off and turned back to Draco.   
  
"Seriously, I find you mean, and so do the other 'Mudbloods.'" She said making quotations with her fingers. "And we're the majority nowadays. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it a majority ruling that gets you the Minister postion?" She said rhitorically. "Thus: if you're nicer you could be voted for and you might win." Draco opened his mouth to disagree with her. "But it's a close race, so you don't have to listen to me. It's pretty close, you're close to losing, and my dad is close to winning."  
  
{A/N:   
Ash: It amazes me.  
  
Mal: What?  
  
Ash: My powers of procrastination.   
  
Mal: Ignore her. Well, I hope you enjoyed this it took a really long time to write.   
  
Ash: BTW- That bit about the queers and the soil, took that from a song by the Dead Milkmen called Stuart. Funniest thing you will ever hear in your life. Cracks me up  
  
Mal: Well, I hope you guys enjoyed it. Read and Reveiw!} 


	2. Stan the Man and a Blue Haired Sexy Beas...

Part 2-  
  
Lucius Malfoy rolled into the family room slowly. His thick cardiac glasses fogging his vision. The senile man stopped in the center of the room that Megan Potter, Julius and Radcliffe Malfoy were occupying. Cliffe was reading up on his Summer Potions work while Louie and Megan were playing with origami fortune tellers. When the man choked out a wet cough Megan's head shot up as if she'd been slapped. She turned to the old man smiled with glee. She hopped off the white couch and stood on the old man's right side.  
  
He reached out a feeble, liver-spotted hand and groped at her arm. He turned his neck slowly and tilted his head as if he was looking at her. But the entire room knew better, Lucius couldn't tell a hammer from a hamburger by looking at them.   
  
"Hello." He creaked. Megan beamed and Cliffe shook his head embarrassedly.  
  
"Hiya, Mr. Mr. Malfoy." She said still smiling. He drew back for a moment.  
  
"Who are you?" He asked and sniffed on her arm. Megan felt nervous about the man's sniffing.  
  
"I'm your granddaughter Mr. Mr. Malfoy." She said and patted his bald head. He made a noise of revelation and smiled at her.  
  
"Come sit in my lap, dear." He said and patted his lap. Megan gingerly lowered herself onto the mans legs. He seemed content. Draco was walking by at that moment and stopped above the three steps into the family room.  
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing!" He yelled at her. Lucius turned in his wheelchair with Megan still on his lap and held his eyes on him.  
  
"I'm letting my granddaughter sit on my lap. I didn't even know I had a granddaughter until just now. How nice." He said and patted her knee. She scrunched her shoulders to her ears and smiled. Draco leaned on the top of the fish tank that stood by the walkway.   
  
"You don't have a granddaughter, Father." He was exasperated as he explained.  
  
"Then who is this lovely lady in my lap?" Lucius asked and squeezed Megan's knee.  
  
"She's Megan Potter. Harry Potter's daughter." He said and gazed into the ceiling. Lucius stopped squeezing her knee and bent his head and grimaced. He shoved her violently off his lap and she toppled into the floor. He rolled away and spat on her as he passed. Megan sat up and glowered at Draco.  
  
"Jerkface." She mumbled. He sighed and walked away. Cliffe and Louie were laughing uproariously in their respective seats. "I wish I had a Grandpa, but no my grandpa had to go get himself blown up!" Then the doorbell rang. Draco went to open it and there stood his nemesis, Harry Potter.  
  
"PIZZA! PIZZA! PIZZA! PIZZA! PIZZA!" Megan shouted quickly while running to the door. She saw her father standing in the doorway and dropped her shoulders in disappointment. "Oh it's just you." She said and turned around quickly. Louie came out from the family room.  
  
"Pizza!?" He asked excitedly. Megan shook her head.  
  
"No, it's my dad. I have to get my crap now." Louie seemed put out with Harry as much as Megan was and the two slowly dragged themselves up the stairs to get Megan's bags.  
  
"So, prepared to lose next month?" Draco asked snidely and refrained from asking him in.  
  
"How does it feel to have a son in Gryffindor?" He retorted.  
  
"How does it feel to have your daughter lusting after me?" He replied in attempt to insult Harry.  
"I wouldn't know." He said and rolled his eyes. Megan came down stairs followed by Louie who had her bag over his shoulder. She took it from him with a smile and sat them down by her feet.   
  
"So, Dad, did you bring pizza?" She asked and broke the angry silence.  
  
"No." He answered and pulled at her shoulder, ready to leave.  
  
"Can we get pizza on the way home?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Why not?" She said and stood still in the entry way.  
  
"Because we're not going home. Look, Matt's waiting in the car..."  
  
"Can we get pizza on the way to where ever it is we're going?"  
  
"How can you be hungry? We ate lunch an hour ago?" Draco asked.  
  
"Has it been that long? Yeesh!"  
  
"Come on, say good bye to Julius."   
  
"Bye-Bye Julie! Bye Julie's Mom! Bye Mr. Malfoy! See ya on the first, Pencil-Dick!" She shouted into the family room. "Goodbye House Elves." She screamed and it echoed around the home. Harry told her it was time to go through gritted teeth. They went down the driveway and as soon as she got in the car Harry sped away.   
  
"We have to stop by Dudley's." Harry said and turned a corner.  
  
"Oo, he'll have some pizza there." Megan said and started biting on her fingernails.  
  
"Dad, why are we going to his house, he's just a moocher. Why do you give him money?"Megan's older brother Matt said. Harry shook his head and kept driving ignoring his son's comments.  
  
"Hey, Matt, do you happen to have any pizza?" Matt turned in his seat and looked at her with annoyance. "I'm hungry."  
  
"Sorry, Meg, I don't walk around with slices of pizza in my pockets." He replied.  
  
"Well, why not!" She asked.  
  
"I don't want pizza sauce in my pockets." He said, but barely the sentence barely escaped his mouth when Megan screamed and started slapping Harry's arm.  
  
"Dad! Dad! We need to stop here! You need petrol." She proclaimed trying to grab his wrists and veer him into the parking lot. Harry slapped at her from the front seat and pushed her back against the seat.  
  
"I filled the tank before we went to the Malfoy's." He said grimly and kept going.  
  
"But you're almost empty!" She declared and went back to attempting to turn him into the small station.  
  
"I've driven thirteen kilometers and the car gets 50 to the liter! Megan, sit down!" She plopped down, defeated and then was struck with genius.  
  
"Dad! I have feminine problems!" She shouted. Matt and Harry looked at her and turned to the road blankly.  
  
"Ok, let's go." They said and turned into the parking lot. Matt's theory was that you couldn't trust anything that bleeds for a week every month and doesn't die.  
  
When they parked Megan hopped out of the car and ran into the store. After she'd been in the store for fifteen minutes, Harry followed her in there to find her sitting on the counter talking to the cashier. The man was tall and gangly with stringy, greasy blonde hair dangling out from under his dingy denim hat. He wiped snot from under his nose with a snort while Megan rambled on about her dad. The nametag attached to his shirt (that matched his hat {A/N: HE'S STYLIN}) read 'Stan'. He looked up when the bell rang that announced Harry and Matt had entered the single room service station. Stan grinned and showed a half-vacant mouth of teeth.  
  
"What can I do'ya fer?" He asked with a thickened Southern drawl. Harry looked confused at the man's voice.  
  
"Doesn't he remind you of Ol' One Eye?" She asked and took the hat off Stan's head.  
  
"Who?" Harry asked, his eyes affixed on the man behind the counter who spit into a cup next to the register. Harry saw it was filled with thick, brown spit and a French fry floating at the top. He twitched in disgust and looked over at Megan.  
  
"Snape of course." She said.  
  
"You do realize he has two eyes." Matt asked.  
  
"I know, but he's always twitching and how well can you see with a twitch-eye?" She reasoned.  
  
"It only twitches when he's angry." Matt told her, while looking at the candy bars.  
  
"Nu-uh, everytime I see him his eye's all twitching." She argued.  
  
"My point exactly." Matt said and threw a Twix on the counter.  
  
"Oh! Daddy, I need some Starburst." She said and pulled a long yellow package out of the box. "AND PIZZA!" She hopped to the back of the store for a box of frozen pizza. "Stan!" She shouted while reading the cooking directions on the box. "Can I access a microwave around here?" She asked. Stan shook his head and spit again.  
  
"Megan, did you get all you needed." Harry intimated to her feminine issue.   
  
"Um, Dad, I was lying." She said blankly.  
  
"What? How dare you lie to me!" Harry replied angrily. "I'm restricing your food intake to three meals a day." He decreed. Megan's eyes popped and her jaw dropped.  
  
"Dad, you're going to kill me! I'm gonna be like an Ethiopian that they show on TV late at night!" She wailed.  
  
"Pay for your things and lets go." He grumbled.  
  
"I don't have any money!" She laughed while she spoke. "You're the rich one. The one running for Minister of Magic. The one..."  
  
"Megan! Is Stan...one of us?" Matt asked quietly.  
  
"No." She said like Matt was an idot. She rolled her eyes and picked the hat up off the counter and showed him the gas station logo emblazoned on it. "If he was a wizard do you think he'd be working at a petrol station?" She said and put the hat back on his head.  
  
"How does he know about us then?" Harry asked desperatly.  
  
"Stan's the man. I tell him everything." She said and pat him on the back.  
  
"What! I'll have to do a charm." He said and pulled out his wand. Megan jumped to her feet on top of the counter, her head barely touching the celing.  
  
"You can't do that to Stan! He's the father of my baby!" Harry dropped his wand and jaw simultaniously. Matt began to smile due to the trouble Megan was about to be in. "Ok, so not really, but he's the man! You can't do stuff to him."  
  
"Megan, we need to leave now." He said and picked up his wand. She jumped off the counter and pat Stan's hand. They left the store and clammored back into the car. The drove the whole way to Dudley's house silently. As they pulled into the driveway Dudley was in the yard relaxing in a blue inflatable pool in the center of the yard in a wife beater undershirt and swim trunks. Megan rolled down her window and stuck her head out of it and shouted out to him loudly.  
  
"HEY UNCLE DUDLEY! HOW'S IT HANGIN? YOU STAYING COOL?" She attempted to continue talking but Matt rolled her window up around her neck from the front seat and her shouts turned to screams of pain which overpowered Harry's demands for Matt to quit trying to behead his sister.  
  
"But, Dad! She's so annoying! Just a little bit further and there'll be no more Megan." Matt retorted. Harry finally got her head out of the window and she shot from the back seat and began pulverising her brother and screaming at him. Harry tryed to maintain control of the small car but with Megan's fists flying and Matt's legs flayling it was a difficult task.  
  
"I HATE YOU!" She screamed at Matt while pulling at his hair. Matt shoved her off of him and she hit the windsheild. "Everyone hates you!" She wailed.  
  
"Jesus loves me." Matt replyed angrily and twisted her arm behind her back. She attempted to bite his cheek and got some skin in her teeth and when she felt blood in her mouth she let go and spat.  
  
"Jesus doesn't love you, he thinks you're a dillhole! Just like me!" She punched him in the stomach just as Harry put the car in park and managed to pull her off her brother.  
  
With a sigh Megan crawled out of her dad's seat with his arms hooked at her elbows. She groaned loudly and tryed to kick at Matt but he just stuck out his tounge and walked away. Dudley tryed to get out of the wading pool but Harry shook his hand and told him to stay put which was good because no one wants to see Dudley in his swimming trunks. Dudley squinted up at Harry from the ground and Harry panted and wiped the sweat from his brow from the struggle in the car and Dudley popped his tounge to lips.  
  
"So, Harry," Dudley began and grabbed a can of cheese. He squeezed it into his mouth with satiscaction and swallowed some water that had absorbed into his shirt. "can I get some money?"   
  
"I've told you Dudley, I only have wizard money." Harry shrugged and shook his head. "But I can transfer it at Gringnotts. We have to go to Diagon Alley anyway for Megan and Matt's school things." He called for Megan who was sitting atop the car, singing 'Henry the Eighth' and keeping the beat by slamming on the roof with her hands.  
  
"I'm Henry the eighth I am, Henry the eighth I am, I am. I got married to the widow next door. She's been married seven- times before and everyone was..."  
  
"MEGAN! Get down from there!" Harry interrupted. She sneered at him and crawled down from the car and headed towards the two men. Harry rubbed his temples and Dudley looked up at him.  
  
"You know, Harry, Riddilin is an option." Dudley offered to his cousin.  
  
"Megan doesn't need Riddilin." Harry said and turned to his daughter who was twirling her way across the lawn. "Don't say a word, Dudley, just not a word."  
  
***  
  
After they had made their way through Diagon Alley to get the children's school things they came home to a house filled with the aroma of Catherine Potter's cooking. During dinner Megan's dog D-O-G {Pronounced Dee-Oh-G} finished off Megan's spaghetti. Matt ran off right after dessert and Megan was left alone with her parents. Harry and Catherine sat watching the television when there was a loud commotion from the hallway. Megan bowled into the living room with an easel and multiple sheets of poster board. She sat up the easel and placed the posterboard in a tidy stack on it. She dashed back to the closet and brought back her wand. Her father tried to ignore her but his fruitless attempts went unnoticed by Megan. Catherine poked Harry with her long index finger and he swatted her off. Megan cleared her throught, demanding attention. He turned to the project in front of him and saw a stick figure on the front sheet of poster board. The stick figure had shoulder length light brown hair and an exaggerated frown across it's face. There were gray storm clouds overhead and a miniture tower with a clock in the background.  
"Megan, what is this?" Harry asked irritably.  
  
"This," Megan began officially. "Is me in England (as signifed by my model of Big Ben). Notice the saddness on my face and the gloomy weather." Catherine sat engaged by Megan's work. She pulled the posterboard off the easel and began pointing to the one behind it. The same stick figure was standing on a surfboard on top of a blue wave, riding high. "This is Megan in California." She said with a smile. "There's me surfing, that's the sexy beast that I will marry," she pointed to a very built stick figure with blue hair that matched Megan's wave. "this is the sun. You may not know what that is. It brings warmth, happiness and financial security."  
  
"The sun does not bring finincial security." Harry argued and then flitted his hands around. "Megan, you don't even know how to surf!"  
  
"Because I live in England. If I were to live in California I would be the greatest surfer/witch ever!"  
  
"Surfing is not an option in the Wizardry world." Harry said. Catherine shook her head expecting an argument any second.  
  
"I already called Aunt Lulu. She said she'd be happy to house me." She spoke of her Mother's younger sister, who lived in a hippie commune in California.  
  
"You aren't going to that damn nudist colony!" Harry said, outraged.  
  
"It isn't a nudist colony, Harry. It's just, liberal." Catherine said, trying to calm him down.  
  
"Well, what ever it is, I'm going anyway." Megan stated.  
  
"Not as long as you're living under my roof." Harry said.  
  
"I'd be living under Lulu's roof." Megan smiled. Catherine dropped her head between her knees and shook it.  
  
"GO TO YOU ROOM!" Harry bellowed and Megan stormed away with a loud high pitched squeal. "Have we ever thought of Riddilin for her?"  
  
"Well, we have, she just refuses to take it." Catherine said and rubbed her palms together. Harry calmed down shortly after but heard a pounding as Megan came down the stairs.  
  
"I forgot my project." She said breiftly and drug the big wooden easel up the stairs. She screamed something from her room and Harry told her to come back downstairs.  
  
"What did you say?" Harry asked.  
  
"I said that I would call Aunt Lulu and tell her that my father is too much of an insensitive prick to let me do anything I want with my life and is forcing me to conform like the rest of these Magical idiots." She stated stolidly. Harry began to seethe again and Megan just stormed back up the stairs. 


	3. A Mashed Potatoe Disaster With The Girl ...

Part 3-  
  
"Mr. Malfoy!" Megan yelled through King's Cross Station. Many heads turned, Muggle and Magical alike. "Whoa! I can't believe I'm seeing you again so soon!" Megan said with a beaming smile as she reached the Malfoy family. She grabbed Draco's wrist and giggled.  
  
"Well, what are the odds..." Cliffe said and rolled his eyes.  
  
"Bite me, Pencil-dick." She said angrily. "Mr. Malfoy, give me a ghetto-hug my brotha!" She said and bent Draco down into the desired position for the hug she gave him. "Word, brotha!" Megan said and flicked her head in a nod.  
  
"I'm not your brother." Draco said as soon as he could possibly get out of her embrace.  
  
"I wish." She mumbled. Matt was by her side at that moment.  
  
"Hey!" He protested. "He's a psycho, Dark Lord follower who hates you and you'd rather he be your brother than me!" He more said than asked.  
  
"Yeah..." Megan said and turned her head to the masses. "BRODY!" Megan yelled and shot into the crowd. A short, slumped over, green haired girl stopped and turned her entire body in the direction that her name was called.  
  
"Hey, Meg." Brody said and waved. "Did you have a real bitchin summer?" Brody asked sarcastically. Megan laughed and put her hand on Brody's shoulder. "Please, Megan. Don't touch me. I don't like to be touched." Brody Alexander was just the type of person who was pissed off at the world and has no reason why. She had lenient, nice parents who let her do basically whatever she wanted. The world didn't screw her over in any way and she was in the top ten students in the grade and one of the top twenty at Hogwarts. Brody was just pissed off and that's why Megan liked her. "Have you seen Alice or Joel?"   
  
"Not yet, I've been hounding Mr. Malfoy. You know, Louie's dad ACTUALLY thinks I want him!" Megan said and tore Brody away from her mother who bid her farewell and went away.   
  
"How putrid." Brody said and shuddered all over.   
  
"Hey, bud, you don't have to tell me." She said and they walked together to Platform 9 3/4 waiting impatiently with Louie and Cliffe, who stood there reluctantly because he had told his friends to meet him there as well. Joel arrived a few minuets later pushing his cart with all his bags and his pet owl, Tim, sitting on top of the stack. Joel was average height with brown hair and a scrawny look about him, and his squared glasses didn't help the geeky appearance he was trying to escape.  
  
"I'm so sorry I'm late. Mum had to get some milk and eggs for Unis' cake and then Unis' decided she didn't want any cake and it just got confusing so I had to walk here and then I remembered that I was aloud to drive now since I'm not on restriction anymore for that last stunt you pulled, Megan. Speaking of which, Alice told me her eyebrows grew back, isn't that nice?"  
  
"Joel, shut up." Brody said and spit out the nail from her middle finger which she'd be gnawing on for the entirety of the time they were waiting. Joel looked downtrodden there for a moment and played with Tim's wing delicately.   
  
"Radcliffe, who are these people?" Spat Denise Thermopolis, the beautiful blonde with an acidic tongue and harsh glare who stood before them and wrapped her perfectly manicured fingers around Cliffe's upper arm. Cliffe looked down at her tan hands and was content with himself. He grinned condescendingly at the group and then looked over at Denise.   
  
"You know who they are, Denise. My brother, his girlfriend, the Mudblood with an attitude problem and Joel." Cliffe answered.  
  
"I am not Louie's girlfriend, Asshole." Megan retorted, her arms crossed tightly across her chest. Cliffe turned away and mumbled something to Denise which made her laugh-no, giggle.  
  
"Have I mentioned lately how much I hate gigglers." Brody said with detest. "Where is Alice?" She asked.  
  
"I dunno," Megan said and tapped her foot quickly and grabbing at Joel's wrist for his watch. "But we need to go through. Louie and I can go through first and then Brody and Joel." Megan decided.  
  
"Hey!" Matt said, he'd been unnoticed for most of this time but not by choice. "I can't go by myself." He told her. Megan growled under her breath and then looked up at Matt.  
  
"Ok, wait for Alice." She offered.  
  
"I don't know what she looks like." He said desperately.  
  
"She's kinda tall with black hair to her shoulders and blue eyes and she's really skinny." Megan described her friend and turned around to the brick wall and felt Matt's hand on her elbow.  
  
"Is she the one with the huge boobs?" Matt asked with hope in his eyes.  
  
"I wouldn't call them huge..." Megan's voice trailed off.  
  
"That's only because you don't have any." Matt joked.  
  
"I'm at a 'B' now, Asslicker." She said and kicked him in the thigh, aiming for his groin. "Come on Louie." She said and the two pushed their carts quickly through the barrier. "My brother is so going to die a virgin." She said to Louie when the got on the other side. Brody and Joel came through and Matt could be heard, as the barrier wobbled, shouting about going through alone. Then the monotone friend everyone had grown to love, Ashleigh Nichols came through with Matt tagging along behind. Alice shook her head and rolled her eyes back in his direction.  
  
"Your brother doesn't shut up, does he?" Alice asked. Megan shook her head and they turned away from the barrier and to the scarlet Hogwarts Express.  
  
After a relatively uneventful train ride they made it to school. Surprisingly unscathed considering Brody's attempt to feed Tim to Matt's cat, Josephine. Hogwarts stood in all its grandeur in the distance, dimly lit by the glow of candles from the inside. The fifth years rode the secret underground roller coaster onto the grounds {A/N: UNDERGROUND ROLLER COASTER! WE CRACK OURSELVES UP! WHEEWW!} led by goblins, similar to the ones at Gringnotts. When they got in the Great Hall, Megan scanned the teacher's table to see if any of the teachers she disliked had left Hogwarts. Sadly they were all there.   
  
Headmistress Krum sat at the center of the table next to Professor Hagrid, teacher of Care of Magical Creatures, her favorite class. Professor Creevy was next to Hagrid, she taught Magical Career Decisions, Megan hadn't had this class but had been assigned it this year. The rest of the Hogwarts staff wasn't even worth mentioning. A bunch of buffoons who graded her on her last name and not her merit.  
  
They stood together in a circle talking and laughing at younger students who had started to break out over the summer or gained weight. But Deputy Headmistress Parkinson, who taught Ancient Ruins, broke up the conversation and made the group go to their tables. Louie, Brody, Matt and Megan went to the Gryffindor table and Matt finally met up with his friends, relieving Megan. Alice sat down at the seat at the Ravenclaw table closest to the Gryffindors and Joel squeezed between Yareila Visuette and Courtney Finch-Fletchly with the Hufflepuffs. Parkinson brought in the first year students to be sorted. After a long drawn out ceremony the first years came to their respective tables and Hermione Krum stood up from the table and smiled at the quieting students.  
  
"Hello, I am Headmistress Krum, and I'm very happy to welcome you to a new school year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry." She proclaimed. The first years clapped at the speech, excited about starting at Hogwarts. "I am also happy to announce that Harry Potter has won the election for Minister of Magic!" The school was excited. Half of them had no idea what duties were involved with the Minister of Magic and were just happy that the person that their mummy and daddy had voted for had won. But, Megan knew exactly what this meant. Or at least what it meant for her.  
  
"NO! NO! NO! This is- no! I am not- BAD!" She managed.   
  
"Chill out, Megan." Louie said as she banged her hands on the table, forks clattering against dishes all down the table.  
  
"Chill out! You're dad lost! You don't have to be the Minister of Magic's daughter. Getting special perks for the rest of your life. Oh dammit!" She rambled on about the downfalls of public office until Louie just began to block her out of his mind. He had developed a very strong aptitude in this field.  
  
"I believe a congratulation is in order for our own Megan and Matthew Potter." Krum said and motioned to the Gryffindor table. Matt smiled at his new title and Megan shot her eyes to the Slytherin table where Radcliffe was pushing his napkin around with his fork.  
  
"The world is a whore, Meg." Brody consoled her silently and without much sincerity. "And you're just another client." She scratched her elbow against the edge of the bench and turned back to Krum. "God, I'm so hungry." As if an answer to Brody's complaint, the plates filled with food and the students ate. Megan ate ferociously with an unquenching appitite. When there was an uncommon lull in the conversation she scooped some mashed up on her index finger and with a squishing noise she stuck that finger in Louie's ear. Louie jumped up when the spuddy food was in his ear and began to knock on the opposite side of his head, trying to dislodge it. Megan giggled quietly with her fists to her mouth and her eyes widened with glee.  
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing!?" He exclaimed and started rotating his finger in his ear to get the potatoes out.  
  
"Megan, stop putting things in people's ears." Brody said and ate some of her potatoes happily. Megan took this oppurtunity to take a naked chicken bone and shove it into Brody's nostril. Brody punched her in the shoulder and pulled it out of her nose and as Megan nursed her shoulder Brody threw the bone at her. The bone bounced off Megan's head and into Roger Pryor's glass of pumpkin juice. The orange liquid splashed in his face and he looked down the table at Megan who threw on a face of shock and pointed at Alice, who was talking to Gwen Thompson at the Ravenclaw table. Roger bit his bottom lip and threw a handful of croutons at the back of Alice's head. She turned around and knocked the crumbs out of her hair. Roger glared at her and Alice looked over at Louie who's mouth widened into a smile and passed the smiling onto Megan and then to Brody. Alice grabbed her glass of water and poured it onto Gwen's lap. She jumped out of her chair and toppled into Courtney Finch-Fletchly, knocking her face into her plate. She pulled her face up and there was mashed potatoes and chicken sauce all over her and in the creases of her eyelids. Courtney, who was always up for fun grinned and shot up in her chair.  
  
"FOOD FIGHT!" She declared. And thus went the Mashed Potatoe Disaster of 2018.   
  
{A/N: Whee! That was fun! We should do it again sometime. Same time next week? Sounds good to us! Yay for food fights!} 


	4. Megan Zahut: Queen of the World

Part 4-  
  
Professor Ginny Creevy stacked her papers in a straight pile on her desk and tucked a strand of thick red hair behind her ear. The first day of the school year was always stressful on her especially with a new class. Not many students found the importance of career choosing during school time. But she knew how much she wished her class was offered to her when she was at Hogwarts, otherwise she wouldn't be stuck teaching there. Another thing many students didn't know was the wide expanse of possibilities out there for them.   
  
Ginny sat down at her desk and drank some water from her flask heartily. She smiled and looked over her flask at the students who were filing in. The seats filled steadily and when the bell rang only three seats were empty. The three students who were meant to fill these seats flew into the room and skidded into their seats. Louie Malfoy, Megan Potter and Brody Armstrong sat together, and in that order. Ginny smiled at the group and leaned against her desk. Radcliffe Malfoy whispered something raspily into the ear of Denise Thompson who threw her head back and laughed after surveying Ginny evilly. She closed her eyes slowly and counted to three to calm her nerves.  
  
"Good Morning, class." She said. "I would like you to please take out a roll of parchment and a quill and write a list of three careers that interest you." The students, mostly first years, looked at her intently, as if waiting for her to say something more. "Now, please." She urged and the students went to work. After the noise from the scrawling of quills had ceased she looked up from her desk.  
  
"Are you all done?" She asked and received feverous nods from the kids. "Alright then, um," She glanced down at her role sheet at the student's names. "Regina Adams?" She inquired. A short black girl raised a thin hand. "Would you please read your list to the class?" Regina had a look of panic in her eyes as the faces of the room looked at her. She cleared her throat and gulped.  
  
"I, um, chose: a professor, or an alchemist or a Shop keeper." Regina read. Ginny nodded and Regina sat down.   
  
"Alright," She read a few more names off the list. All the careers were the same: some kids wanted to be nurses at St. Mungo's, others wanted to be Head Master, and so many other dull, drab careers in Megan's opinion. Finally, Professor Creevy called on Megan. She stood up and walked around the desks to the center of the room, taking a bow for both sides for the room. Louie clapped loudly for her when she bent in their direction. She coughed and made eye contact with Professor Creevy.  
  
"Ahem," She began. "I have found multiple careers that peak my interest." She said regally to the Professor. "One, Queen of the World, Two, hobo under a bridge and the third, professional surfer." Ginny began to speak but Megan raised a hand to silence her. "But, I've realized I can do all three of these at once, plus: being Mr. Malfoy's mistress." She bowed to the Professor and made her way back to her seat. Ginny stopped her.  
  
"What do you mean, professional surfer?" She asked. The class turned to Megan, waiting for a response. "Do you know how to surf?" Ginny asked.  
  
"No, but I plan on learning when I go to California to live in the hippie commune with my aunt." She turned back around but was stopped again by her teacher's voice.  
  
"And why would you want to be a bum under a bridge?"  
  
"Because it's easy..." Megan said matter-of-factly.  
  
"Which Mr. Malfoy?" She asked.  
  
"Draco Malfoy, of course." Megan replied. Louie and Radcliffe both groaned at this and Denise gave a low growl of disgust.  
  
"Please sit down, Megan." Ginny said.  
  
"Why do you have to ask me about my career choices? You didn't ask anyone else." Megan stayed put. "I mean, I bet there's no one else in here who wants to be Queen of the World."  
  
"No one in here has the opportunities you have laid out for you Ms. Potter." She stressed her last name. Megan shook her head and stomped back to her seat. Ginny continued down the list. Megan looked at the teacher contemptuously. She leaned over to whisper in Louie's ear.  
  
"I don't like her." She said.  
  
"You don't KNOW her." Louie argued. Megan shook her head and leaned over to Brody and repeated her statement.  
  
"Me either." Brody replied with an evil glare to her teacher.  
  
"You don't like anyone, Bro-Dawg." Louie looked past Megan at her. Brody shrugged.  
  
"What do ya know?" She said and scrawled her name on the parchment next to her second choice of career, executioner.   
  
That afternoon at lunch Megan left Brody and Louie and took a seat between Matt and Pete Zahut. Matt looked at her, flabbergasted.  
  
"What are you doing?" He asked. Megan grabbed Pete's forearm as he lifted his glass to his lips and stopped abruptly when he felt her hand on his arm.   
  
"Sitting with my boyfriend, Dildo-head." She answered. Pete smiled down at her, his straight rows of white teeth showing and his blue eyes catching the light from the sun. Matt shook his head at her.  
  
"Pete, she's only your girlfriend so that someday you can get married and her name will be Megan Zahut." Matt told him. Megan laughed under her breath.  
  
"Pete Zahut." She laughed as she said his name quickly. Pete half-grinned at Megan.  
  
"I used to find it insulting when you made fun of my name. But now I think it's an endearing term that I find so cute." He said and pat her hand. Megan raised an eyebrow at him.  
  
"I'm not cute." She said and pulled out as many brown arm hairs as her index finger and thumb could grab. Pete made an inaudible expression of pain and looked down at her.  
  
"That hurt." He whined.  
  
"Wuss." She rolled her eyes and pat his arm, leaving him and his fellow Sixth years to discuss amongst themselves. Brody, Alice, Louie and Joel were standing around together and Megan skipped into the circle and threw an arm over Louie's shoulder. "What you guys talking about?" She asked.  
  
"Your brother wants Alice." Louie said and turned to her. Megan dropped her elbow off Louie's shoulder. She looked over to Alice who nodded, disgusted.  
  
"When we were coming through the barrier, the other day, he was all looking at my butt and stuff." She said in her monotone voice. "I wanted to vomit. And then, during the food fight last night, he came over to me, through the havoc and panic and all that shit, and handed me a plate of mashed potatoes and told me 'If you want any more ammunition then, yeah here you go.' I was just like, God, please make me throw up all over him." Alice said and shuddered all over. Megan smiled from ear to ear.  
  
"This has to be the single greatest discovery in all time." She said.  
  
"Actually, the correct term would be 'of all time.'" Joel mentioned. Megan rolled her eyes and pushed Joel in the stomach.  
  
"Fuck off, asshole." She growled. As Joel recovered from his blow, Megan saw Matt making a break for the Dining Hall door. Megan's face curled in a smile and she beckoned for her friends to come with her to follow and torment her brother.  
  
They stalked behind him, silently to the Gryffindor Tower. He muttered the password and the Fat Lady allowed him entry. Alice and Joel scurried in behind Megan, Brody and Louie when they said the password. Megan ran down the portrait hole into the Common Room where Matt sat, reading a book.  
  
"HEY! Matt!" She called. His head snapped up and he saw the crew behind her.  
  
"Meg, you can't have those two in here." He told her and she turned around to Alice and Joel who were surveying the common room, Joel more nervously than Alice as he was afraid to break the rules. Matt looked desperately at Megan and then glanced back at Alice who was twirling the tassel on the house banner.   
  
"WHY DO YOU KEEP STARING AT ALICE?" Megan shouted. Brody laughed behind her and she grabbed Louie's arm and dragged him into a chair across from Matt and Megan who were standing parallel each other. Alice gave a wry smile and then went back to looking around. Joel kept looking over his shoulder to make sure no professor or school official were to walk in the tower.  
  
"I'm not..." Matt said shakily. Megan smiled at him and punched him in the arm. "What the hell was that for?"  
  
"NO YOU CAN'T HAVE SEX WITH ALICE!" She said and continued smiling. Matt gawked at her and slapped Megan's shoulder. Megan looked down at his arm on her shoulder and kicked him in the shin. Matt yelled in pain and then shoved Megan, who responded to his actions by pulling his hair. An all out brawl ensued. A first year boy who was in his dorm skipping class heard the commotion, came downstairs and gasped at the sight: blood was streaming from Matt's nose and Megan's fingernail was almost torn off, causing more blood. Megan was biting Matt's ear, almost off, when the boy noticed Alice and Joel, two kids from different houses. The boy ran down to the common room and hurried out the portrait hole to get a professor. Louie saw the boy making his mad dash to the door and shot up out of the chair, jumping over the fight that had become increasingly violent. Louie grabbed the boy by the collar and lifted him off the ground.  
  
"Look, you little shit, go back upstairs. This is Megan and Matt Potter, HARRY Potter's kids. You want to get in trouble with the Minister of Magic? The guy who defeated Voldemort with a blink of an eye?"  
  
"That's not how he defeated Voldemort, I read about it..."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, but he is the Minister and I know you don't want any trouble, right?" The boy concurred. "Ok, then, go back upstairs and the four of us will break up the fight." The boy ran upstairs and closed the door. Louie content with himself and turned back to the fight. There was a wad of Megan's light brown hair next to Louie's fist. He nodded to Brody and the two of them lifted Matt off of her and she spat all over him as he rose off her.  
  
"Asshole!" She screamed. "Just because Alice doesn't want to be your girlfriend or your sex slave or whatever the fuck you want her for is no reason to TRY and kick my ass!" She said, still shouting.  
  
"TRY? Megan, you're missing half your hair!" Matt retorted, Louie holding him back.  
  
"You're missing a testicle! Oh, wait, you never had any!" She said.  
  
"How would you know..." Joel wondered aloud. Megan shot a glare at him and answered.  
  
"Because he acts like a woman!" Matt was trying to get out of Louie's ironclad grip when Alice grabbed Joel by the wrist and drug him out of the common room.  
  
"This has been quite grand but I'm not down with the violence, so yeah, later." She bid them farewell and they left the room. Matt dropped like a rag doll and looked menacingly at Megan.  
  
"Bitch." He grumbled and Louie let him go. Megan grabbed at her tooth that she thought was getting loose from the punch in the face she received and then, when assured that it was staying, flipped him her middle finger and the three of them went to class.  
  
***  
  
Three weeks later, in Career Decisions, Cliffe and Denise were hysterical with silent laughter. Cliffe had taken it upon himself to become the fashion critic of Hogwarts, informing Brody everyday that her green hair was repulsive. And if she wanted attention she should just make a sign that said 'Look at me!' The response from the group was always indifference, but one day, Brody Alexander had enough.  
  
Cliffe lifted up his parchment in the silent room and across it read 'Brody Alexander hasn't taken a shower in two weeks.' The second year girl behind Brody read it and Megan heard her mumble to her neigbor that the green-haired girl in front of her had always had a funny smell. Brody closed her eyes and snapped her quill in her hand. Professor Creevy shot her head up and looked down the aisle at Brody who smiled and turned to Louie for another quill. Louie gave her one and she continued her work. Cliffe snorted with laughter and sniffed the air in Brody's general direction and gagged. Brody breathed loudly through her nose.  
  
"That's enough!" She slammed the quill on the desk and got up out of her chair and crossed the room. She grabbed the top of Cliffe's head and pulled him out of his seat. Professor Creevy sat in her desk ignoring the situation temporarily until it got serious.  
  
"What are you going to do?" He asked sarcastically and stood up in front of her.  
  
"I'm going to do a lot of things. Like this, for instance," She said and punched him in the side. He collapsed to the right and grabbed his ribs. "And then this..." She kicked his legs out from under him and then pounced. She started punching at him repeatedly and Professor Creevy heard a cry from Cliffe and got up out of her desk to get the girl off of him. When she got to the top level of desks she saw that Megan and Louie had joined in on the violence. Megan shouting obscenities at him sporadically and Louie kicking his shins and spitting at him. Megan jumped down on Cliffe and tried to rip off his ear when Ginny got her off.   
  
All four looking reasonably shaken, the Professor sent them all out of the room. She said she would turn a blind eye to the altercation if they could get along. Outside the door Megan, Brody, and Louie stood on one side of the doorframe and Cliffe on the other. They stood in a stiff, thick silence, Cliffe: smoothing his hair and wiping blood from his nose. Brody: running her fingers through her hair to get it back to it's straight beginnings. Louie turned to his brother and scowled.  
  
"You think Brody's smelly now? She didn't bathe for five weeks when she was considering dreadlocks this summer." He said and turned to Brody and Megan for approval, which he received. Cliffe shook his head and chuckled.  
  
"Why?" He shook his head again. "Why did you stoop so low, Julius?"  
  
"Lick my ass crack, Cliffe." Brody retorted.  
  
"I'd rather not." He said and tucked in his shirt.  
  
"You're so damn clever, aren't you Cliffe?" Megan asked.  
  
"Much more than you think, Meg." He said her name tauntingly. He raised an eyebrow and then smirked. She stood, quizzically, with her hands on her hips and her elbows askew. Cliffe grabbed the crook in her elbows and pulled her into him and kissed her on the lips, briefly but fully. Megan was too shocked to close her eyes and saw his eyes were open too. He winked when he moved away from her face and pulled open the door and backed into the classroom.  
  
Brody stuck her fingers in her mouth and pretended to throw up as Megan turned to Louie with rage.  
  
"Did you tell him!" She yelled.  
  
"I don't ever talk to him." Louie replied. Brody was left in the dark on this situation but the secret between Louie and Megan was prevalent in their looks. Megan liked Cliffe, that way. She had a crush on him since third year. Her teasing was just a cry for attention and she had always assumed he felt the polar opposite of her feelings for him. But those past two minuets had changed her view on more than just her fighting capabilities.  
  
"So, do you want to sex my brother up now?"  
  
"Shut up, Louie." Megan said and sat down, cross-legged against the wall.  
  
"Oh, so are you still deciding between him and Pete Zahut?"  
  
"No, Pete is my boyfriend." She resolved.  
  
"Give it a rest, Louie," Brody defended her friend. "Cliffe kissed her, not the other way around. Christ on a crutch, that was disgusting."  
  
"Yeah." Megan said, her voice trailing off.  
  
  
{A/N: WOOOO! AUTHOR'S NOTE! WHEE! Man, this chapter was long! Remember kids: Violence is not the answer! Mal is just obsessed with it. We need to get her a punching bag. Yeah, we're trying to think of a flaw for Megan because she's turning Mary-Sue on us. But soon things will get interesting. OOO! NEXT CHAPTER!!!!!! RESPONSIBLE READERS RESPOND!!!} 


	5. An Illusion of Destruction

Part 5-  
  
"Stupid Cliffe with his stupid... yeah" Megan grumbled as she paced in front of the four rows of feet that attatched to the stretched out bodies of her friends. They were enjoying a nice, unseasonably warm, October day outside the castle. Louie was reading his book of spells, catching up on homework, Brody had her journal underneath her arm as she sketched a picture of Hogwarts. Joel and Alice were playing Go Fish. All four ignoring Megan's lament on Cliffe.  
  
"I mean, what gave him the right to do that to me!?" She said to no one in particular. "And, er, talk that way about you Bro-Dawg." She hurriedly caught herself and motioned to Brody who nodded at her name.  
  
"You know, you don't have to hide your emotions." Alice said.  
  
"Oh, that's funny, you know what an emotion is..." Megan said and then bit her nail. "Sorry, Alice."  
  
"Eh, I get that a lot." She said dryly.  
  
"We wouldn't have guessed that you felt this way about Radcliffe if you hadn't gone on about it." Joel said and sat up, brushing grass off his sweater. Alice saw Matt in the distance and intertwined her fingers with Joel's. The new feign of a relationship was in attempt to keep Matt at bay. Megan shook her head at Joel's comment and then turned back to pacing.  
  
"We should get him back, for doing all those mean things to us. To everyone!" Megan decided.  
  
"Megan, we beat the living crap out of him three days ago." Louie sat up too and looked at her with reason.  
  
"Yeah, but that was before he kissed me." She said. She began to concoct a plan.  
  
"You know, these ideas you have, they always work best with an even number of people and well, I'll be willing to abdicate from my duties as a member of the 'let's get expelled' squad." Joel offered.  
  
"I'll have nothing of the sort." Megan said and grinned. "Besides, the more the merrier!" She sat down on the ground and the five of them came up with their revenge against Cliffe. It involved a very non-complex plan to go to the Slytherin dungeons and that was where the plot ended.   
  
Megan, Brody and Louie hunched under Megan's Invisibly cloak that she had stolen from Harry that night, armed with their wands, they left the Gryffindor tower quietly and found their way to the Ravenclaw house. Megan stuck a pale shaking hand out from under the cloak and pulled the longest blue book and the bookcase backed away loudly, scraping stone against stone and then leaned to the side allowing the three intruders in. They took the cloak off and came upon two suits of armor who inquired them for the password. Louie told the suits 'Troubadours' and they pulled their staffs away from the entrance and they went into the Ravenclaw common room. Alice sat cross-legged in an armchair across from a fire.  
  
"Come on..." Brody called quietly. Alice lifted a flat hand and mouthed the last words of a book she was reading and then slammed it shut. She got out of the chair and threw the pillow from behind her back to the couch.   
  
The trio, now a quartet, left the Ravenclaw dwellings and stealthily made there way down winding stair cases and into a secret tunnel under the grounds of Hogwarts. When they took off the invisibility cloak Louie pointed silently to a sleeping, stout, frizzy haired Professor Eckelburt- Hufflepuff Head of House. He snorted into the air and turned over on the couch. Brody looked over at Alice who's lips were tight and protruding out of her face. This was the way she looked at interesting situations. Megan pulled out her wand and the others did the same.  
  
'What's going on with Eckleburt?' She wrote in gilded letters in the air with her wand.   
  
'There've been lots of Hufflepuffs sneaking out at night lately, he's supposed to stand guard.' Brody responded in purple letters. The smoke was clearing from Megan's initial statement and she cleared it away with a wave of her hand. Sparkles of gold came down from the letters and onto the invisibility cloak in her hands.  
  
'Alright, Louie, go get Joel.' Alice wrote in the air in sky blue. Brody's purple dust floated around Eckleburt and Louie magicked the color out of the air with a flick of his wand. He nodded and headed to the boys dormitory. There were no windows in the Hufflepuff common room, but it was still welcoming. Built into the ground, warm earth surrounded them that had been hexed to not cave in. Louie came back out the door dragging an uncooperative Joel who stood in his night things rubbing his eyes.  
  
"I told you I wanted no part of this." Joel protested as the crawled under the cloak. Brody kicked his shin and they went back out into the tunnel to Hogwarts. The arduous journey around the castle was guided by the Maurder's Map that Megan had stolen from her father's office without his notice. They stalked down the hallway and stopped at the sound of moaning.  
  
"We're on the wrong floor!" Alice whispered desperately. "Slytherins are in the dungeons." She stated. Moaning Myrtle stood in the door way next to them, gray and sad, with a ghostly tear dripping down her face. Brody felt empathy for the girl, now dead for 76 years. She sighed with sadness and went back to her stall for the solace of familiarity. The group turned down the stairs and back to the bottom level of the school.  
  
After another twenty minuets of searching (which felt like an eternity for poor Joel) they found the Slytherin portrait. He stood there evilly conniving in his sleep. Brody knocked the cloak off them and Megan grabbed it quickly and folded it in her arms. Brody cleared her throat and woke the portrait. He sneered to her and asked the password. She gave it to him willingly ("Imparivosio"), and they went down into the dark dungeons of Slytherin's house.   
  
Megan grinned in the corner of her mouth and turned around, leather couches and chairs, oriental rugs on the floor, deep green velvet curtains and Slytherin banners on the walls. The only graffiti was a Dark Mark scrawled on the wall. Megan turned to Brody who was grinning too. Louie spun her back into reality.  
  
"What now, Meg?" He asked, they all stood in a line in front of the dead fire. Megan looked down at the black and white carpet with panic.  
  
"I...I...I didn't plan that far ahead." She admitted.  
  
"Why?" Alice asked.  
  
"I thought we would have gotten caught by now." She said and turned around to them. Joel grumbled and tightened his housecoat.  
  
"I'm going back to my bed." He said, Brody grabbed his collar and Joel came back to them.  
  
"Ok, ok! I've got it!" Megan proclaimed. "We'll shrink all the furniture." She smirked evilly.  
  
"Fun times for all, but how does that get revenge on Cliffe?" Brody asked and sat down in an armchair with a very stiff back.  
  
"Because he won't be able to prove it was us. We're just inconvieniencing them. Yeah." She sounded like she was convincing herself at the same time.  
  
Brody shrugged and pointed her wand to the chair she was occupying twin and the chair became the size of her shoe. Megan giggled and Brody shot her a look of disgust. Megan smiled and imitated Brody's actions by shrinking the couch. Louie picked it up and threw it at the wall. Alice began to laugh but covered her mouth. Joel shook his head and disagreed vehemently with their actions. While shaking his head, Alice grabbed his wrist that held his wand and pointed it at the chess table and it shrunk right in front of them. Joel fainted and fell to the ground with a thud. They all laughed and continued shrinking things. Megan threw her head back and felt a tug at her hair. She turned around to see the face of Radcliffe Malfoy looking around the room with rage. He stared down to Megan and she felt like cowering in a corner at his glare.  
  
"This was a very, very dumb thing to do." He said and looked over at his brother who was picking up Joel at his armpits to wake him up.  
  
"Oh, Cliffe!" Megan sputtered and pulled away from him. "We're not here!" She said dreamily. "We're just an illusion!" She wiggled her arms up and down and began do hunch over and wave her body. Louie caught on to Megan's plan and did the same. Brody was prancing around and she beckoned for Alice to chime in around the unconcious Joel on the floor.  
  
"I'm sorry, you want me to do that?" Alice asked and kept still.  
  
"Just an illusion." Megan repeated as she past Cliffe.  
  
"Oh and I suppose my urge to pee is just an illusion too?" He asked sarcastically. Megan stopped, knew she was caught and smiled grimly.  
  
"Yes..."  
  
{UH-OH! Mondo trouble for Megan! GASP! What shall become of her! Hah! You'll have to read the next chapter to find out. RRR! Mucho El Love-O!} 


	6. Enquiring Minds Want To Know, But Chaz a...

Part 6-  
  
Headmistress Krum paced behind her desk, her bathrobe around her and a shower cap on her head. She yawned and then looked at the six students before her. She sat down at her desk and tapped her pencil on the desk rapidly and then looked up at them. She yawned again.  
  
"Could you have pulled this stunt at a more Godly hour?" She asked. Megan bit her lip and then answered.  
  
"Yes, but we shouldn't have done it at all?" She half-asked/half-said. Headmistress Krum looked up at her in awe.  
  
"That was a rhetorical question." Hermione rubbed her eyes and then looked at the kids. "Everyone needs to leave except Megan."  
  
"Why?" Louie asked, ready to stand up for his best friend.  
  
"Because I think she is the ringleader of this little idiotic stunt." Louie sunk back and then turned with the rest of the group.  
  
"She is." He replied as they walked out the door. Professor Krum looked at Megan who stood with her hands inside her sleeves nervously and wasn't looking at anything in particular.  
  
"What possessed you to do this, Megan?" She asked. She sighed and sat down in the chair across from the desk and bit the inside of her mouth. She searched her mind for what to say and came up empty.   
  
"Jell-O..." Poured out of her mouth. Megan listened to her own voice with the same degree of confusion that was on Professor Krum's face.  
  
"Why on earth did you just say that?" She asked her.  
  
"It's quite tasty, we should have it here!" She proclaimed. Megan was still confused by her words. She looked at Hermione who asked her again why she pulled this stunt. "Because Cliffe kissed me."  
  
"That's not a very good reason, Megan." Professor Krum said and shook her head.   
  
"It worked in my brain." She searched the room aimlessly and then her eyes found Hermione's.   
  
"Oh, there's a brain up there?" She said and flicked a piece of paper at her. Megan shook her head in suprise and then looked at her Headmistress. Hermione sighed and looked back at her.  
  
"That's really mean, Professor. You know I have a brain. I mean I may not be the most intelligent person at Hogwarts but..."  
  
"Your flaws have to be that you're loud, obnoxious, you come up with these idiotic plans, you carry out these idiotic plans..."  
  
"They're not idiotic." Megan interrupted.  
  
"And then there's your violence."  
  
"What violence? I'm not violent!"  
  
"Yes you are." Megan began to retort but Hermione raised her hand to stop her. "Now about your punishment." Megan looked down at her feet, which were pointing at each other (a nervous tick she had). "Well, we can't suspend you or expel you. You don't show up for detentions and taking away house points doesn't faze you." Megan smiled inside her mind to that fact. "So, we're calling your parents." Megan stomped her feet and shot up out of the chair.  
  
"WHAT! NO!" She objected loudly. Headmistress Krum sent her out of the room and told her to bring in Louie. She walked out into the waiting room and the rest of her friends (and Cliffe) were sitting in chairs, looking sad, tired and a little out of breath. Cliffe's right cheek was bright red and Louie was massaging his ear which was also red. Megan could tell they'd been fighting.  
  
She pursed her lips and sat down in the empty seat next to Cliffe. She pointed her head in the direction of the door and told Louie to go on in. He shot an evil glare to Cliffe and Cliffe returned the stare. Megan looked across the room at Brody and Joel who were sleeping on each other's shoulders and Alice who had her legs crossed in the seat and was biting her nails worriedly.  
  
"Why do we go through with these plans you come up with, Meg?" She asked and stopped biting her nails.  
  
"Because you have fun doing them you have to admit." She replied and looked over at Cliffe's face. He pointed his face straight forward and then turned his neck slowly to Megan.  
  
"Can I help you?" He asked. She drew back quickly and then looked down at her hands and rolled her fingers around in their fists. He turned his head and looked back at Brody and Joel sleeping on each other. "Are those two, like together?" He asked and looked down at Megan. She looked up at him with awe.  
  
"Why did you kiss me?" Alice stared at them intently, waiting for Cliffe's response. He smirked evily and then turned back to Brody and Joel. "I'm serious." She persisted and pulled at his arm.  
  
"Why do you care?" He asked. Megan still had a hold on his arm and looked around the room with confusion.  
  
"Because you kissed me and it's my lips and I have a boyfriend and it didn't make any sense." She answered. "Now, you tell me or I'll..."  
  
"Enjoy it?" He interrupted.  
  
"I hate you." She said and let go of his arm and crossed her own across her chest.  
  
"No you don't." He replied and smiled again.   
  
Megan grumbled and shook her leg quickly. She crossed her right leg under her butt and then stayed still a moment. A few seconds later she was sprawled out across the chair and started tapping the arms of the chair. Not long after that she was upside down in the chair.   
  
Cliffe stared down at her and with a baffled look on his face asked "What are you doing?"  
  
"I can't stay still." She said and paused between her words. Alice chuckled and went back to biting her nails.  
  
"I love conflict." Alice said under her breath.  
  
"It's simple, just don't move." Megan sat up when the blood began to fill her head.   
  
"I can't keep still though. It gets on my nerves." She said. Louie came out into the waiting room and felt the stillness of the room.  
  
"Yeah." He said and shook his head. "They're calling Mom and Dad, Cliffe. I hope you're happy." Cliffe sat smugly with an 'I-Don't-Give-A-Shit' look spread across his face. "You ought to care, because I'm telling dad that you kissed Megan."  
  
Cliffe shook his head with indifference and sent Alice into the office. The room was silent and they slept. Joel was the last one out of the office and he woke up everyone with his sobs. Megan rubbed her eyes and looked at Joel with comfort. He pointed at her and sent her to the office without words. She gulped and headed in. Professor Krum nodded at her as she came in. She was now dressed in her robes with her hair loose and sitting around her shoulders. Harry's face looked at her from the fire place. Megan gulped again and waved gingerly at her father.   
  
"Good morning, Megan." He said irritably.  
  
"Hey dad, how goes it?" She asked more inquisitively than with a greeting undertone.  
  
"Not so good. I just heard my daughter broke into the Slytherin dungeons and broke all their furniture."  
  
"Word travels fast..." She said and rubbed the back of her neck. Harry shook his head.  
  
"I'm too busy to come down there. I suppose you should just give her detentions and an earlier curfew and make her fix the furniture." He offered and looked over at Hermione. At that moment Megan heard a door slam. She wasn't sure where it came from because it was off in the distance. Then she heard a man's voice.  
  
"Who are you talking to Mr. Potter?" The voice said. Harry turned his head and replied to the man.  
  
"My daughter got in a little trouble at school, that's all." He answered and turned back to Hogwarts.  
  
"Mr. Potter, excuse me for trying to tell you how to do your job, but when Megan gets in trouble, that affects you and that affects the ministry and we can't have that." Megan felt a twist in her stomach and looked desperately at the portrait of Albus Dumbledore. Whenever she was in trouble and in Professor Krum's office it always made her feel better to see his smiling blue eyes.  
  
"But how do Megan's actions affect the ministry." Harry asked.  
  
"She does things and her peers write home about it. Her peer's parents think that they might have put the wrong person in office and impeach you." Megan looked at the fireplace with her mouth agape.  
  
"Who ever that is talking to Dad: YOU'RE NOT HELPING!" She exclaimed. Harry turned to Hermione and then looked at Megan.  
  
"Exactly how many rules did Megan break?" The voice asked. Megan looked at Hermione with desperation.  
  
"Well, she was out past curfew, broke into three houses, used magic in the hallways, destroyed property, and then there were the past few weeks. She got in two fights, disrespected Professor Snape, Eckleburt, Creevy and myself, and snuck out on two different occasions and I've heard of multiple occasions where she was seen making VERY public displays of affection with Peter Zahut." She began counting these events on her fingers and then turned back to the fireplace. "That's at least fifteen."  
  
"I hate you now." Megan mumbled.  
  
"Your daughter seems like a freed prisoner of Azkaban." The voice said.  
  
"We'll discuss this further when I have time. But until then, stick with the punishment I said." Harry face disappeared in the fire and Professor Krum turned to Megan.  
  
"Well, what do you have to say for yourself?" She asked and crossed her fingers on the table.  
  
"Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God." She went on shaking in her chair, with complete and utter fear in her eyes.  
  
"Go back to the Gryffindor tower, please Megan." Megan moved out of the office without thought. She felt like she was floating and there was a numbness all down her body.   
  
She continued 'floating' down the hallway and it was daylight now. Breakfast was about to start and here she was looking like a wreck passing everyone in the hallways. They were in uniform and she was wearing her tousled black clothes from last night. Her makeup smeared under her eyes and her hair was greasy from missing its washing. Lauren Phillips and Rebecca Nielsen came around the corner and smiled at Megan.  
  
"How goes it, Meg?" Lauren asked and grinned at her.  
  
"Not well at all." She said and looked past the crowds of people heading to the Great Hall.   
  
"Why, what's wrong?" Rebecca asked and the group stopped. Megan looked down at the floor and slapped her hands on her legs in desperation.  
  
"I got in trouble last night for sneaking into the Slytherin common room and busting up all the furniture and now the entire Ministry is coming down here to straighten me out. I'm so scared." Lauren and Rebecca looked at her with solace.  
  
"It must be nice, having someone to come down and do your dirty work when your kid gets in trouble." Lauren wondered aloud, a trait very common to her.  
  
"My dad is still coming, you know." She said to Lauren. Lauren made an 'O' with her lips and turned to Rebecca.  
  
"Man, I hope you don't get into too much trouble. We'll be rooting for you." Rebecca said and went on to breakfast.  
  
Megan went up to the Gryffindor common room while down in Professor Krum's office, Draco and Iris were listening to the list of offenses their two sons. Iris eyeballed Louie as his rap sheet grew. Louie bit his bottom lip and stared at the bottom of his mother's legs. He felt her eyes on his back and sat up.   
  
"What do you have to say for yourself?" Professor Krum asked.  
  
"Well," Louie stammered and then looked at Cliffe who was still sitting smugly. "Radcliffe kissed Megan." He shot up out of his chair and pointed an accusing finger at him.  
  
"WHAT!" Draco looked at Cliffe with contempt. Iris' eyes widened, but not with anger. Her face blossomed into a smile as she thought of the feuding between the Potters and Malfoys becoming a Shakespearean romance; then she remembered how Romeo and Juliet ended.  
  
"I did not!" Cliffe argued.  
  
"Yep, yes he did! I'm surprised he didn't put a little tongue in there." He said and looked at his parents as if he had delivered at crushing blow.  
  
"I did." He defended and then stopped his voice and looked angrily at Louie. "I did... not even touch the Mudblood."  
  
"Shut up, Son." Draco growled.   
  
The Malfoys left the office and Brody Alexander's parents strolled in. Chaz, a tall gangly red-head, and Amber, short with blonde bangs and brown hair other than that. Brody came in behind them, twisting three strands of green hair together into a braid. Professor Krum began to read off her offenses and as she did so, Chaz leaned over to Amber and whispered in her ear.  
  
"What are we doing here?" He asked.  
  
"Your daughter got in trouble." Amber answered.  
  
"My daughter got in trouble? So why do I have to be here?" He asked. Amber shrugged and looked back at Hermione. "This place seems bigger than before."  
  
"It's been twenty years, Chaz." Amber whispered back to him.  
  
"Yeah, but, still. Bigger." Hermione looked over at Chaz who was about to fall asleep.  
  
"What type of punishment to think would be suitable for this situation?" She asked.  
  
"Hell if I know." He said.  
  
"We don't believe in punishment. Bro-dawg can express her creativity how ever she sees fit." Amber said.  
  
"Bro-dawg?" Hermione's eyes went from mother to daughter with confusion.  
  
"She calls me Mom-dawg and I call her Bro-dawg. It's this special bonding thing we have."  
  
"Yeah." Brody agreed and looked at her father who was now asleep.  
  
"Well, we need to punish her somehow." Hermione said, ignoring Chaz.  
  
"Take off a few points and give her a detention." Amber said and got up out of her chair. "Chaz and I have to be in California in about fifteen minuets, so are we done here?" Hermione sighed and sent them out. Alice and Joel received similar punishments considering all their crimes had been committed with the other three. As they walked out of Krum's office together, Alice looked over at Joel and grinned.  
  
"Megan is such a dumbass." She said and shook her head.  
  
"You don't have to tell me." Joel said and rubbed his red eyes. It was time for their second class by then.  
  
"I totally thought we'd get in so much trouble. And we didn't I'm very happy." She said with no emotion in her voice, as usual. Joel smiled at her. He was cute when he smiled.  
  
"I can tell."  
  
{A/N: Yay for cameo apperances by our friend Amber and her Kool-Aid Chaz! Weren't they fantastic! The Oscar for best cameo apperance in a Fanfiction must go to them! woo woo! Whee for that! Well, we hope you enjoyed it! Much love for all! RRR!} 


	7. Get YOUR Dementor Repellant Today!

Part 7-  
  
Brody looked across the bed at Megan who was pulling clothes out of her trunk and slamming them haphazardly into a bag. She crawled on the floor and pulled two pairs of shoes out from under her bed. With two books to keep her going and her wand in tow, she zipped the bag and slung it over her shoulder. Brody scratched her eye and stood stared at her.  
  
"What are you doing?" Brody asked.  
  
"Running away." Megan answered and kept going. Brody grabbed her bag and Megan pulled back to the side of the bed. "Look, the entire Ministry is coming here to get me, I am in so much trouble, Bro-Dawg!" Megan said and sat on the edge of the bed.She bit her lip and felt like she was going to cry. Brody drew back and looked down at the floor.  
  
"I don't do well with these bonding emotional moments." Brody said and patted Megan's clenched fists. "But don't run away, you can't be in that much trouble." Megan looked up at her.  
  
"The entire Ministry, Bro-Dawg. You don't understand. I have to get away. They're going to send me to Alakazam!"   
  
"Azkaban, Meg."  
  
"It doesn't matter if I can pronounce it, I'm going to be a priosoner there! The Dementors will suck out my soul. Unless I make Dementor Repellent. Yes, and I'll sell it to the masses! Dementor Repellant. What am I ranting about? BAGH! I have to go!" She sat up and ran out of the room. She hurried down the hall and then down the stairs. Brody ran after her to no avail, she was out of the Gryffindor tower before Brody was in the Common Room.   
  
Megan threw her Invisibility Cloak over her head and weaved in and out of crowds of people. It was the time between the fourth class and lunch and people engulfed her. An aerial view would have showed one spot, shoving its way through the crowd.   
  
When she reached the door that led to the Herbology fields she tightened her cloak and ran for the Forbidden Forest, not sure of what would lie ahead of her. Maybe she could mystify a small thrid world country into believing she was a God and then take them over as their queen. Then world domination wouldn't be far behind.   
  
Megan paused when she realize how ludacris her thought was and turned back around to Hogwarts, still walking but backwards, into the forest. She felt a stick run across her leg and figured she was into the forest. She turned and there was a canopy of trees above her and thick trunks surrounding her. The small streams of light that sived onto the ground made the forest eerie. As she turned her head, Hogwarts was out of sight. She breathed a sigh and continued through the forest.  
  
A sound caught her attention and she turned her head, still moving. She heard a loud sucking noise and turned back around to see a thick, silvery-purple liquid surrounding her body and it pulled her. It grabbed her and pulled her behind it with such force that she fell on the ground. Four loud gasps came to her ears. She spat out the dirt that she landed on and pushed herself off the ground. The gasps came from four boys converged together with a sheet of parchment. The tallest one with dark hair in dire need of a haircut took the parchment and hid it behind his back.  
  
"Who are you!" Exclaimed the boy next to him, an averaged height boy with brown hair loose on his head and a perplexed expression on his face. Megan sputtered as she looked at them and then behind her, looking for the purple substance which had dragged her here.  
  
"I, I'm Megan." She said and knocked her pants clean of the dirt and sticks. The strap on her bag was twisted across her chest and she fiddled with it as they looked at her with confusion. She looked over at them and they were still staring at her. The taller boy locked eyes with her.  
  
"Where did you come from?" He asked and walked over to her. The three other boys followed.  
  
"Hogwarts School..." She said looking down at their uniforms. She wondered who these boys were, she'd never seen them at school before.  
  
"I've never seen you here before." Said another boy with black hair and glasses who looked strangley familar.  
  
"Nor I you." She smiled. "What are you doing out in the forest?" She asked.  
  
"We could ask you the same thing." The boy with the glasses replyed.  
  
"I'm running away from Hogwarts because the Ministry of Magic is out to get me." She answered timidly.  
  
"Are you on the Dark Side?" A shorter one with scragly blonde hair said meekly.  
  
"No, I broke all the Slytherin furniture." She said and looked at the bottoms of their pants.  
  
"If you're from Hogwarts, where's your uniform?" The tallest one asked. Megan pulled the bag over her head and took a long black Hogwarts cloak out of her bag. Suddenly she gasped and dropped the garment.   
  
"The cloak!" She shouted. She dropped to her knees and patted the ground around her with her eyes squinted. "Holey Moley! Where's the cloak!" She wailed and grabbed at nothing.  
  
"It's right here." The boy said and picked up the Hogwarts cloak. "Wow, this one looks really different from Tonya's." Megan looked him and shook her head.  
  
"No, no, no! I have an Invisiblity Cloak and it's gone." The boy with the glasses' eyes went wide. "Oh jeez!" She said when the sun began to go down. The scragly haired boy looked up at the sky and then down at Megan. He turned his eyes to the brown haired boy and they walked slowly towards each other and away from Megan. She looked up slowly and watched them as they huddled into a talk. The scragly haired boy looked across the circle at the boy with glasses.  
  
"James, what are we going to do with her?" He asked and motioned to her with his head.  
  
"We'll keep her. She's hot." The tallest one said, Megan listened to all of this and smiled at her compliment. Feeling her face turn red, she turned back to her bag, folding the Hogwarts cloak in it.  
  
"No, Sirius." The brown-haired boy said.  
  
"Yes, Reumus." Sirius replyed. "She's obviously lost and alone. We should be her guide. The girl thinks she goes to Hogwarts."  
  
"No, she's probably a danger. A menace even. Possibly an escapee from Saint Mungos." Reumus answered.  
  
"I doubt it." Sirius said. "Come one guys, it's 1976, I think the times have changed enough-"  
  
"What year did you say it was!" Megan inturrupted him quickly.  
  
"1976." Reumus said and looked at Megan's puzzeled face. "What year do you think it is?" He asked with a soothing voice and walked over to her.  
  
"2018." She replyed and looked at him, he had his hand on her shoulder. "What the hell are you doing?" He removed his hand and then looked back at her.  
  
"Megan, that's what you said your name was?" Sirius asked and came over to her. "you can stay in our dorm until you get your memory back." 'Hopefully you never do.' He thought.  
  
"What are you talking about! My memory's fine. I know it's 2018 because this was the year my dad won the office, and Brody, Louie, Alice, Joel and Me started the Mashed Potatoe Disaster of 2018. I know!" She said and looked at them. She turned around to the place where the substance had been. "Holey frieken Moley!" She exclaimed and stuck her hand through the opening in the trees.  
  
"What?" James said and came stuck his hand through with her. They repeated the process over and over again and each time, Megan's face was more awestruck. She turned to him, face gleaming.  
  
"I've gone back in time."  
  
***  
  
A pack of Ministry officials headed down the stairs to Krum's office. Harry looking around, taking in the castle for the first time in a long time. Everyone around him was stern and stolid. He kept a smile on his face, despite the situation. When they got to the Gargoyle leading to the office Harry smiled at it and considered what a first year Headmistress would use as her password. What would Hermione as a first year Headmistress use as her password was a totally different subject. He took a leap of faith and uttered what he thought would turn it and allow him entrance.  
  
"Hogwarts: A History" He said and sure enough the Gargoyle moved aside and the officials all came into her office. Hermione looked up at them from her desk, frantically searching papers for something. Harry smiled at her.  
  
"I never took the time to congratulate you on becoming Headmistress." He said with a smile as he sat down. Hermione looked up at him and the rest of the people in her room with panic. "What's going on?" Harry asked, knowing something was up.  
  
"Hah! Congratulate me..." She proclaimed and kept searching. Her hair was a mess and her Witches hat lay on the floor she stepped on it as she came around the desk to greet her guests.  
  
"Where is Megan?" He asked and looked around the room.  
  
"Oh, Megan? That one. Yes well." She began and looked at the men.  
  
"Yes, that one. My daughter." He elaborated and crossed his arms.  
  
"We have it on a very reliable source that she has left Hogwarts for fear she would be sent to Azkaban." She answered and glared evilly at the officials.  
  
"What! Why in Merlin's name would she think that?" Harry asked and jumped up. "Where is she?" He asked.  
  
"We don't know. She regretted to inform us where she kept her Maureder's Map." She said and innunciated the last two words.  
  
"That map..." He said and rubbed his forehead.  
  
"Mr. Potter, this isn't looking good..." Said a familar voice, this time, not just a voice but person behind it: Norman Thermapolis.  
  
"Excuse me," Hermione said and pushed Harry out of the way. "But if I'm not mistaken, were you in Harry- I mean Minister Potter's office when he found out about Megan's shannanigans?"  
  
"Why, yes I was." Norman answered. "Why do you ask?"  
  
"Because you, Mr. Thermapolis, are the reason she thinks this Azkaban nonsene." She pointed her finger accusingly at him.  
  
"Well, Megan must be really dense then." He murmered.  
  
"Actually she's in the top twenty-five students in her grade." Hermione retorted.  
  
"How many fifth years are there? Twenty-five." He asked and answered his own question haughtily.  
  
"You have no right to question the intelligence of my students when your own daughter is in the bottom twenty-five. Oh, and there are about one hundred fifth years, Mr. Thermapolis." She said and turned to Harry who looked at Norman and shook his head.  
  
"You oughtn't say things like that about your bosses child." Harry warned and turned back to Hermione. "Hermione, who is this reliable source?" Harry went back to the matter at hand.  
  
"She didn't want to be identified." She said and sat down at her desk.  
  
"She..." Harry wondered aloud. "Well, I know there are only two 'shes' that she hangs out with. Alice Nichols and Brody Alexander." He bit his nail and looked down at Hermione who breathed heavily.  
  
"Harry, you can't go question them." Hermione reasoned.  
  
"So it is one of them. Thank you Hermione, we'll keep in touch regarding this." The Ministry officials surrounded Harry and they left her office. As they ascended the stairs fifth class of the day let out and they were suddenly amidst hundreds of students. A shout came from one end of the hallway and Denise Thermapolis ran down the hallway.  
  
"DADDY!" She screamed and hurried to Norman. Radcliffe sauntered behind her and waited for her embrace to end. Harry turned away from Norman and Denise and held back tears. His own daughter was gone indeffinentley.  
  
While Denise and Norman were in a big bear hug Brody, Alice, Joel and Louie rounded the corner and saw the tall men in black robes and stopped dead in their tracks. Brody grimmaced over to Louie who shook his head quickly.  
  
"Oh shit." Alice exclaimed and they all wheeled around in the opposite direction. But not quick enough. Harry caught a glimpse of Brody's green hair and hurried to them. He passed the four of them and stopped two feet past the group.  
  
"Hey! Brody, Alice. Can I talk with the two of you a minuete?" They looked at each other and then back at Harry. The girls nodded and Joel and Louie stood, waiting for them. Harry smiled at them and crouched down.  
  
"Do you girls know where Megan, my daughter, is?" He asked.  
  
"Mr. Potter, no disrespect, but do you think we don't understand you or that we're stupid or maybe, you just have a speaking problem because your words were very seperated and you sounded like you were talking to a bunch of three year olds." Alice asked. Harry looked at her nervously and stood straight up while looking at Brody. She looked at him and bit her nail.  
  
"AH!" She shouted. "She told me she was running away and that she was going to Azkaban and then something about dementor repellant. It was really confusing and all bunched together and I tripped on the bed and that's why I didn't catch her and she took the Invisiblity Cloak so I couldn't follow her or I'd get introuble. BAGH! Don't hit me!" She wailed quickly. The halls were empty by then, except for the Ministry officials, Harry, and the kids. He smiled at her and turned back to the pack of men.  
  
"Thermapolis," He called and Norman and his daughter looked up. "You're fired." He finished. Denise gawked at him and shoved her father away. She scoffed at him and grabbed Cliffe's arm and they began to walk away. Harry chased them down and got to Cliffe.  
  
"You!" He declared and pulled the two apart. Cliffe stood nose to nose with Harry and straightened his robes. Alice, Brody, Joel and Louie watched tenativley. The Ministry officials were on pins and needles. "You tried to kiss my daughter and that's why she got in trouble." He pointed at him with anger.  
  
"Tried?" Louie murmered. Joel elbowed him in the side and glared at him.  
  
"Megan came on to me." He said as Denise continue to stare, open mouthed, at the entire situation.  
  
"Bull shit!" Louie shouted and stormed to them. "She tried to pulvarize you and then when she confronted you verbally, you tried to eat her face!" He continued shouting and pushed his brother.  
  
"Liar!" Denise squealed and ran away with her overly made up eyes tearing up.  
  
"Look what you've done, ass wipe!" Cliffe yelled to Louie and then glared at Harry. "I've done nothing wrong to anyone. Trust me, I've made sure of that." He turned around and followed his crying girlfriend down the hall with reluctance.  
  
{A/N: WOO! Good times! Good times! Thanks to all the many reviewers! Mucho love to you guys! I'm sorry that it's taken us so long to respond to your replys, but these chapters have already been written. Actually, the next chapter we put up will have us kept up with all the stuff, um yeah. So, anyway: keep on reviewing and we'll keep on writing. Megan Potter for President! WOOP WOOP! Are you excited yet? We know we are... of course, we know what's coming up Heh Heh! Good times!} 


	8. Into the Mind of a Boy Scout

Part 8-  
  
Megan kicked a pile of clothes out of the way and picked up the broomstick lying next to her feet. She admired the trimming of the ends and tossed it on the nearest, unmade bed. The boys stood in the doorway, awaiting her next comment. She turned to them quickly and grinned.  
  
"So this is what the sixth year boys dormitory looks like?" She said, making conversation. "It's um, a little messier than I thought." They smiled and went towards their own beds. "A lot messier." She whispered, thinking no one had heard. James shook his head and plopped into the bed that Megan had thrown the broomstick on. He took off his shoes and started to unbutton his shirt when he looked up and realized Megan's presence.  
  
"Um, could you turn around?" He asked. She closed her eyes and turned to the window. Behind her she heard the rustling and hurring of the boys changing into their night things. "Ok, we're decent." She heard and turned back around.  
  
"Who's sleeping on the floor?" She asked and rubbed her hands together with a smile. She pulled the black elastic band off her wrist and began to pile her hair into a pony tail. Reumus raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms across his chest.  
  
"Who say's we're sleeping on the floor?" He asked and started to pull the sheets straight.  
  
"Can you get on the floor?" She asked.  
  
"Why do you care about OUR mess?" Reumus asked and recieved a pillow in the face from Sirius. Who, through gritted teeth, told him to shut up.  
  
"These are big beds," Sirius began and smiled at Megan and patted his bed. "I'm sure two people could fit in one."  
  
"I bet they could too, if one of them didn't have such a big ass." She smirked and looked down at the floor.  
  
"Here," Peter said and pulled the comforter off of his bed. He folded it over his forearm and brought it to her. She smiled and accepted the blanket, shoving things on the floor out of the way. James shook his head and grabbed her shoulder.  
  
"You can take my bed, I'll sleep on the floor tonight." He said and smiled at her.   
  
"Muchos Gracias." She said and turned to the bed. As afraid as Megan was about being in a different time, she felt secure around these boys. Something about them was comforting and she turned over in James' bed, dreaming about Pete and Radcliffe dueling it out with a giant Lion nipping at Cliffe's butt every chance it got.  
  
"GO GET 'EM LEO!" She shouted in her sleep, waking Reumus who was sleeping in his bed next to her. He groaned at her and sat up shakily. 'She's no good.' He resolved silently as she kicked in her sleep. 'I've got to figure her out.'   
  
He climbed out of his bed silently and tip toed to her bag, sitting on the window sill. He went to it and the night air blew his brown hair off his face. He slowly pulled things out of her bag. A brown glasses case, a bag of Skittles, two socks (that didn't match). The light of the moon caught the glint of something in the bottom of the bag. Reumus stuck his hand down in the bag, but too fastly. He shoved too quickly and the bag fell out the window and down six storys.  
  
"Dammit." He whispered loudly. He pushed himself up on the concrete sill and looked down. There lay Megan's bag with it's contents spilled open across the Hogwarts lawn. "Shit, shit, shit!" He said and looked at James on the floor who twitched as he slept because of the sound. Reumus knew the only way to get down there was to use the Invisibility Cloak. 'But I can't wake up James to ask where it is...' He thought and shook his head indecisivly. Without realizing what he was doing he kicked James in the stomach (trying to get over to his trunk) and he awoke with a grunt.  
  
"Wha..." He asked and looked up at him. "Whaddya do that for?" James asked, slurring his words together and feeling the empty air for his glasses, which usually sat on his bedside table.  
  
"Um, I need you to tell me where your Invisibility Cloak is." Reumus requested.  
  
"What for?" James asked, realizing the sleeping situation and plucked the glasses off the table behind his head. Reumus explained his excapades and James shook his head disapprovingly.  
  
"Please!" Reumus pleaded.   
  
James stood up reluctantly and went to his trunk and pulled his wand off the top of his stacks of organized, folded clothes. Reumus rolled his eyes at James(who didn't notice). James flicked his wand and whispered a special password to the secret compartment. No one knew his secret password and all their guesses had been wrong. When the flap from the roof of the trunk came down, three things layed before him: James' Invisibility Cloak, the startings of the Maureder's Map, and his journal. Reumus took the cloak gladly and scurried out of the dorm. James laid back down on the floor and went to sleep.  
  
Minuetes later, the other two sixth year boy Gryffindor's came into the room. David and Darryl Shumaker came in smiling and laughing quietly. They tiptoed past Reumus and Peter's bed with glee and were passing James' when they saw a foot protruding out from under the sheet at the end of the bed.  
  
"Darryl!" David exclaimed quietly. "What's James doing with a foot?" He asked and peered down at it quizzically.  
  
"Hrm, isn't that peculier?" His brother said and marveled at the foot as well. "Look at it's toes!" He said and pointed to them.  
  
"Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle! They're purple! This person died of hemophelia!" He diagnosed the foot's condition and Darryl gawked at him.  
  
"Wow, that's really amazing. How'd you know that?"  
  
"I learned it in the boy scouts." David said proudly.  
  
"You were never in the boy scouts." Darryl argued.  
  
"Yes I was! When you went to ballet classes I went to boy scout meetings." He answered.  
  
"I WAS NEVER IN BALLET!" Darryl shouted, waking Megan and James.  
  
"Uh-huh, scout's honor!" David said.  
  
"But you were never a scout! Thusly: your 'scouts honor' means nothing to me." Darryl said and crossed his arms across his chest.  
  
"What the hell?" Megan said and sat up against the pillow. Darryl and David shot back in shock and into the back of Peter's bed, screaming and waking him up. Peter yelped and jumped out of his bed and onto Sirius'. James raised his hand in a fruitless attempt to alert the twins to be quiet. Sirius- seeing James' peril- jumped out of his bed and punched them both in the stomach to shut them up.  
  
"Who-Who..." David stammered and looked at Megan with panic.  
  
"What Dave is trying to say is: Who are you?" He said and surveyed Megan. She grinned and looked down at James.  
  
"Agent Negative Fourty-Four." She said and curled her upper lip.  
  
"I thought you said your name was Megan?" Sirius questioned. Megan half-smiled and raised her index finger to her lips.  
  
"Shh." She said quickly.  
  
"We're secret agents too." Darryl said with a smile and a nod. Peter lowered his eyebrows at them and crawled back under his sheets.  
  
"Don't mind Darryl," David said when Megan showed an unconvinced expression. "he's a pathological liar."  
  
"I am not!" Darryl argued.  
  
"Well, I wouldn't expect you to admit it..." Megan mused aloud.  
  
"No, I'm not. David's the liar!" Darryl said in his defense.  
  
"LIAR!" David shouted and pulled Darryl's hair.  
  
"They're both pathological liars." James said. Megan's face exploded into a smile.  
  
"Two liars who can't help but lie? This is the best thing I've ever seen in my life!" She said.  
  
"You are a sick, sick girl." James murmered.  
  
Suddenly the door creaked open and Reumus squeezed his way through the door. He tip toed into the room, with Megan's bag in a bundle under his arm. He shook his head and mouthed something silently. He looked up at the full, and completely awake, room.  
  
"Um, hi." He said with suprise and hid her bag behind his back. She sat up on her knees and then off the bed.  
  
"Is that my bag?" She asked and grabbed at it. He backed away.  
  
"No..." He said unconvincingly.  
  
"He's good." Darryl said to David.  
  
"Why do you have my bag?"  
  
"Your wand broke!" He exclaimed involuntarily.  
  
"Why do you have my bag?" She repeated.  
  
"I wanted to find out stuff about you." He said meekly. "I was looking through it and it fell of the window sill and... your wand broke." He squeaked.  
  
"How could my wand break..."  
  
"Because it fell six storys." He said and shook his head.  
  
"But..."A light clicked on in Megan's brain and she grinned, on the inside. "But, now I have no way of getting back to 2018. I mean, yeah there was a pretty slim chance before. But now! Now I have no wand!" Reumus looked down at his feet, feeling horrible. "You're so cautious, so worried. And now! NOW! You've broken my wand! Am I a deatheater? Do I LOOK like a deatheater? Am I a dementor? Hell, I inventied Dementor Repellant! In my time, I'm like the boy who lived."  
  
"What boy who lived." James asked. Megan wheeled around to him and the other boys, who's faces were just as confused.  
  
"You know THE boy who lived." She said.  
  
"There's lots of them. I lived." Reumus said. Megan turned back to him with annoyance.  
"Shut up! God, breaking my wand. Asshole." She grabbed her bag and walked to her bed. Reumus took her wand out from behind his back and suddenly it turned into a rubber chicken. He gasped and looked down at the chicken in his hand.  
  
"It... it just turned into this!" He squeaked. She giggled and smiled at him.  
  
"That's a joke wand from Weasly Wizard's Practical Jokes and Good Times." She grinned and pulled her real wand off the table.  
  
"I knew that." He said and threw the chicken at the wall.  
  
"Goodnight boys." Megan said and went back to sleep.  
  
"So, is hemophilia contagious?" Darryl asked.  
  
"Quite! It spreads through your body and out your ears. Then, before you know it: you've got purple toenails and you think you're from the future!" David answered matter-of-factly.  
  
"Hemophilia is when your blood doesn't clot, stupid." James said and turned over on the floor.  
  
"I knew that." He said and went to his bed reluctantly.  
  
{A/N: BWAHAHAHAHA! Another hilarious installment of Our Pet Girl! Whee! Thanks to everyone who reviewed for being patient enough to wait on the time travelness. Mucho Love!} 


	9. Monotesticle Man man, man man!

Part 9-  
  
"I heard she hung herself when the Ministry officials threatened to take her away." Said Regina Adams holding a copy of the Daily Prophet in her fist. The headline read 'Minister Potter's Missing Daughter' and included a story on her dissapperance. This article renewed Brody's destest of the press because the majority of the article was heresay, lies, untruths and assumptions.  
  
"No, she was having an affair with Snape and they had to keep it quiet so they killed her." Courtney Finch-Fletchly nodded vehemently at her own comment. At the tail end of that comment, Brody and Louie came into Career Decisions.  
  
"You do know she nicknamed Snape 'Ol One Eye'?" Brody asked and snatched the paper away. At their blank stares and embarrassed expressions Brody shook her head and walked away. "Stupid Hufflepuffs."  
  
"Bro-Dawg! I don't think Joel would appreciate that." Louie said and they walked to their seats.  
  
"Joel can kiss my white ass." Brody said plainly and looked down at the paper. "When we get back to the dorm, I'm burning this." Megan's face looked back up at them grinning and repeatedly shoving her finger in her nose. Brody sighed and put the paper away as Professor Creevy walked into the room. Professor Creevy smiled and looked at the students.  
  
"I know we're all mourning Megan Potter's dissappearence..." She began.  
  
"Death." Regina coughed.  
  
"Fuck you!" Brody shouted at her. Louie grabbed her wrist and told her to calm down.  
  
"Thank you, Mr. Malfoy." Professor Creevy said with a timid smile. 'Never thought I'd say that!' She thought to herself. "But life goes on and there are so many people out there looking for her that there is enough time for us to get back to life as usual."  
  
"When did life become unusual? She disappeared two days ago and yesterday was Sunday." Louie thought outloud.   
  
"Professor?" Inquired an unusually sad sounding voice from Cliffe's side of the room. He pulled his hand down at his side and looked down at his desk meaningfully.  
  
"What is it, Radcliffe?" Creevy asked sympathetically.  
  
"I, I, I really feel like I'm too saddened by Megan's dissappearence to continue with daily life. Could I go back up to my dorm and just, you know, think about what might be wrong with her." Louie growled at Cliffe and Brody could feel her face burning with anger.  
  
"How dare he exploit our friend like that!" Brody whispered angrily to Louie who was wondering the same things.  
  
"Yeah, Professor Creevy, I am really mourning this." Denise concured with her boyfriend and huddled against him.  
  
"The only thing you're mourning is your father's lack of a job." Louie said. She breathed heavily and put her head down on the desk, defeated.  
  
"Well, that was rather, Malfoy-ish of you." Brody said and smacked his arm.  
  
"What can I say?" He replyed and turned back to Professor Creevy. She continued her speech about Megan with whispers in the background. Brody heard Regina and Courtney talking behind her head and she listened closely.  
  
"I bet that Megan called Snape One eye as a code word." Courtney said and pretending to be hard at work doing an assigment for Charms.  
  
"What would it be code for?" Regina asked.  
  
"Maybe Snape only has one testicle." She whispered. Brody turned around to them and gawked.  
  
"WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT PROFESSOR SNAPE'S TESTICLES?" She shouted. The room went silent as confused and disgusted glances were shot their way. The girls stammered excuses for what they were discussing but the class just went back to Professor Creevy who picked up her soliloquy right where she had left off.  
  
"Is it OK that I hate every person in this room besides you?" Brody asked and turned to Louie. He avoided her face and began copying the words from the board.  
  
"You've never worried if it was OK before."  
  
***  
Megan came out of the bathroom with her toothbrush dangling out of her mouth. Her hair was slicked down and her clothes were chosen specifically. All in all, she spent about forty-five minuetes getting ready. When she walked past Reumus he clicked his pocket watch.  
  
"Forty-seven minuetes." He declared. She kept walking towards the window and spat out it down to the grass. She turned around to him and pulled herself up on the window sill.  
  
"What's forty-seven minuetes?" She asked.  
  
"How much time you spent in there while we were the ones needing to get ready." He huffed. Megan looked around at the other boys and Reumus was the only one still in his pajamas.  
  
"Why didn't you just get dressed out here?" She asked.  
  
"Remus is a weenie and won't get naked." Sirius said and rolled his eyes.  
  
"AH!" She wailed and covered her ears and closed her eyes.  
  
"What?" James asked and grabbed her wrist.  
  
"Naked is bad." She answered. "Very bad!"  
  
"But underneath your clothes you're a nudist." Darryl replyed.  
  
"AH!" She wailed more and pulled her knees up to her chin.  
  
"So, why did you take so long in the bathroom?" Sirius asked.  
  
"I was making my hair beautimus." She said and stopped wailing, running her flat hands down the length of her hair.  
  
"Yeah, it takes me a long time to get my afro this big." David said and patted the outer parts of this hair. Megan gave him a confused look, as did everyone else (except Reumus, he was making a mad dash to get ready in the bathroom).  
  
"What afro?" Megan asked.  
  
"You don't have an afro." Darryl said and patted the rim of his own head.  
  
"Yes I do!" David declared. "I started growing it when I was in the scouts." He said and continued patting his hair.  
  
"Oh yeah! That's when I was learning how to French Braid. I remember now." Darryl remembered. "Do you know how to pleie?" He asked Megan. She held her fingers up to her face and giggled.  
  
"All the girls in my old ballet class could pleie?" He said and began bending and prancing through the room.  
  
"He cannont possibly be serious." She said and leaned down to James' head.  
  
"Unfortunatly." He said and shook his head. Reumus came out of the room in a hurry and motioned for them to come. They all headed to the door but Megan called them back.  
  
"Hey wait! What am I supposed to do all day?" She asked. Reumus and Peter looked at the floor and then at the beds and then back at Megan.  
  
"You could possibly find something to amuse yourself with." Peter said and turned to the door. They left and James waved goodbye to her. As they walked out the door, Darryl bent to the side because his 'fro is to big to fit throught he door'.  
  
She sighed and looked down at the floor.  
  
"Vomit." She exclaimed and began clearing a spot on the floor.  
  
It was time to clean up. She sifted through mounds of clohthes, books, papers, pictures and other properties of the boys. By lunch time the front half of the room (where Sirius, Reumus, and David slept) was clean. As she moved on to the next bed she picked up a stack of parchment. The papers were from classes, so Megan sat them on the top of the bed. She decided she was hungry and picked up her bag from the top of that bed. She sat up on the bed and started looking through the papers. One page was entirly doodles. She was reading the name 'Lily' that covered the page over and over again. She grinned as she saw that James' name was also on there. She assumed it was his papers then. Megan sat the doodle page down and underneath it was a letter James had written to this Lily person. It went like this:  
  
'Lily,  
Hi! How are you? I'm fine, but I have a few things that I'd like to say. First of all, I think that the way you stood up for Tonya Levvins was really nice. I think it's so mean that people make fun of her for being a Muggle-born. She's a great girl and Sirius seems to like her a lot. Secondly, I was wondering if you heard who got chosen for the Triwizard Tournament from Hogwarts. Harry Danials. I couldn't believe it! Well, actually, I can. He's such an athletic, brave guy. He'll make a great Champion for Hogwarts. Ok, and the last thing I have to say is kinda hard to say. Or ask, rather. Lily, if you don't have a date already, would you go with me to the Yule Ball? I'd really like you to. I think you're really pretty, and nice and smart and you have all of the qualities I'd like to see in a girl. And when I say pretty, I don't mean that's a big deal quality in a girl but that you just happen to possess this quality to a very distinct degree. Oh gee, I'm rambling now. So, anyway, would you? You don't have to answer now, but sometime. Thanks a lot.  
Sincerly,  
James Potter.'  
  
Megan finished reading the letter with a smile. She went back and read it again and saw how heartfelt it was. James had really storng feelings for Lily. She looked back at the doodling page and chuckled.  
  
"I wonder why he didn't write 'Lily Potter' all over everything." At that exact moment it struck her. Something she hadn't figured out. "James Potter? Lily Potter? They're my grandparents! Oh my God!" She fell back on the pillow and shook her head.  
  
"I, I just can't believe it, oh my God!" She repeated. Sirius came into the room as she layed back marveling at the information she had just grasped.  
  
"Hiya." He said. Megan turned to the door and looked at him closely.  
  
"Oh, Lord!" She said and pinched her arm. "You're Sirius!" She said and bit her finger. "And that means..." She figued out who Peter and Reumus were too. "The Maureders." She said he came over to her and stopped at the mentioning of their group name.  
  
"How'd you know we were called the Maureders. And why is the room so clean?" Megan called him to sit down on the bed.  
  
"Ok, I know you don't believe that I'm from the future." She said. "But I can prove it." She looked at him. He waited for her to continue. "Woo, ok, Reumus is a werewolf, you, James and Peter are Animagi, you have the Maureder's Map, and James has an invisibility cloak." Sirius listened, stunned.  
  
"How?"  
  
"Because I'm from the future!" She said, exasperated.  
  
"So, is the Maureder's Map well known in the future?"  
  
"No, but...ugh! James is my grandfather and I'm really worried."  
  
"Wow." He said grasping the situation. Megan felt the look he was giving her and looked up at him.  
  
"This is a big secret, Sirius, if I tell anyone anything else, I could kinda, explode the equilibrium of time!" She said and held his fists. Sirius nodded and smiled.  
  
"So, who do I marry?"  
  
{A/N: WHEEE! Thanks for the reviews! Whee!} 


	10. Makeup, Makeup, Who's Got My Makeup?

Part 10-  
  
"Why are guys so difficult?" Megan asked in a lull during a conversation with the boys. James cocked his head and looked at her with a confused expression.  
  
"We're difficult?"  
  
"Disgustingly!"   
  
"How are we difficult? " James asked. "If I were to call you fat right now you'd hate me forever. But, if I were to say you looked good right now, you'd be offended."  
  
"If you said I looked good right now, I would vomit." She said and turned to Sirius.  
  
"Ew, that'd be disgusting." He said and shuddered.  
  
"Fuck you, Sirius." James shot at him.  
  
"Trust me, James, it would be nasty." He said and continued playing Solitaire.  
  
"Have you ever kissed a Malfoy?" Megan asked, changing the subject, but only on the surface, for this was very related to what she had just asked.  
  
"Can't say that I have..." Peter said, his voice trailing off.  
  
"Negative." Sirius answered promptly.  
  
"Well, there was that one time-"  
  
"Is this another lie, Darryl?" Megan asked.  
  
"What? I don't lie!" He answered quickly.  
  
"Yeah, well," Megan said turning away from Darryl. "I have. It was," Megan stopped talking and thought to herself. 'I'm never going to see these guys again, well as their future selves, but they won't know it's me.' So she resolved to tell them her exact thoughts. "It was fantastic. I enjoyed it thoroughly. And you know why? Because I like Radcliffe Malfoy."  
  
"Who's Radcliffe Malfoy?" Reumus asked.  
  
"Well, in your time, there's Lucius Malfoy-"  
  
"Malfoy reproduced!" James asked and jumped up off the floor. "Now, I'M going to vomit!" He said.  
  
"Cliffe isn't Lucius' son." Megan corrected him. "It's his grandson."  
  
"So, Malfoy reproduced, and then another one reproduced! How disturbing." James shook all over.  
  
"Yup, that's how it went down. But, anyways, this feels good to talk about. I've only told Louie, and I can't talk to him that much about it, even though he's my best friend, because he's all 'UGH! My brother!'" Megan reenacted a conversation between the two friend for them.  
  
"Wait, first of all, you have a crush on a Malfoy," Remus asked. Megan concurred silently. "then, you're best friends with this Malfoy's brother?"  
  
"Not exactly, Louie was my friend before I liked Cliffe." She corrected.  
  
"I am ashamed to know you." He said and shook his head.  
  
"Oh vomit on you." She said and stuck to fingers in her mouth, pretending to throw up. Megan pulled back the bedspread on Remus' bed (it was his turn to let her sleep there) and plucked the fountain pen off the bedside table. Underneath the bedspread were the letters carved into the bedpost 'Megan Was Her' she began digging into the wood with the pen to finish the 'e' on the last word.  
  
"What the hell are you doing to my bed!?" Reumus shouted and ran to her. She looked up as he had a hold of her fist.  
  
"Well, what do you expect me to do all day? I've already cleaned this place up twice, and I've only been here three days!" She exclaimed and tore her hand away. She went back to carving her message with exasperation.  
  
"Nobody's in the tower during classes while you're here. Why don't you take a look around, see how different it is from your time." Peter offered.  
  
"Yeah, in our time we have a giant penguin for a house mascot." David said. His brother punched his arm.  
  
"Are you that dense?" Darryl said. "She's not going to believe the Gryffindors were Penguins!" He turned to Megan and his tone changed instantly. "We're turtles. Massive, powerful turtles." A fight ensued between the two boys and the rest of the room watched with anticipation, losing count at who was who. Darryl and David, being identical in everyway, were very violent in their scrimmaging and Megan watched, punching the air with silent tips. 'Right hook.' She thought at Darryl. 'RIGHT HOOK! Damn liars...'  
  
The next day, at supper, a pack of Gryffindor girls bombarded the Marauders at dinner. Lily Evans, Margaret Thompson, Wilma Valentine and Tonya Levvins came to them and threw empty make-up bags at their equally empty plates.  
  
"Where is it?" Tonya asked and shoved the Sirius' back.  
  
"Where is what?" He asked and shoved her back.  
  
"You say it like you don't know." She squinted her dark brown eyes at him.  
  
"I don't." He argued.  
  
"I suppose you're all going to play stupid?" Margaret asked and crossed her thick arms.  
  
"What are you going on about?" James asked and picked up the make up bag. He looked up at Lily and she glared out him. He didn't like it when she glared at him.  
  
"You all have stolen our make up." She declared and shot them evil glances.  
  
"No we didn't." Peter said meekly.  
  
"What good would it do us to steal your make-up?" Reumus asked.  
  
"Hell if I know, but we're going to find out and get our make-up back. When we do, we're telling Dumbledore." Margaret huffed.  
  
"What! We didn't steal any make-up! Why would you think we did?" James gawked.  
  
"Because you four are the Marauders, and you maraud. You steal things, it's what you do." Wilma said quietly.  
  
"We aren't thieves." James defended their group.  
  
"Oh, and how about every one of Snape's right shoes?" Wilma asked.  
  
"That, that wasn't us!" Peter argued.  
  
"Yes it was, because I helped you come up with it, stupid." Margret said and shoved him into the table.  
  
"Look, we don't steal things from people we like. We like you guys." James said.  
  
"Find our make-up, James Potter."  
  
"Alright I will, Lily Evans." James replied mockingly.  
  
"Fuck you." Margaret said and the group turned away and went down to the other end of the Gryffindor table.  
  
"What goes on with that?" Sirius asked.  
  
"I have no idea, but Holey Moley, Lily can sure look like a mean bitch." Reumus said and scooped up some peas.  
  
"Don't say that." James got defensive and his eyes involuntarily went down to the four girls sitting down. He looked down at his plate and the vinyl, orange bag with flecks of brown eye shadow crunched into the lining. He sighed and looked back over at them. Sirius flicked a pea at him and the rest of the boys chuckled. "What the hell!" James shouted and looked at him.  
  
"I was influenced by Megan's mashed potato disaster story." He said and took a bite of his roll.  
  
"That was a good story." Peter agreed and tipped some salt on his chicken, which of course had the lid unscrewed a little bit and all the salt came down on the piece of chicken. "Assholes." He murmured as they laughed at him.  
  
  
***  
  
In the Sixth year boys dormitory in the year 2018, Matt Potter was sitting in his bed, working on a last minute Charms assignment. As a nervous tick, he swung his leg off the side of his bed. And as Matt got more and more nervous, his leg swung faster and faster, until eventually the sheet dangling off the neighboring bed was fluttering in the air. Out of his peripheral vision he saw something in the deep, rich, wooden bedpost that hadn't been there before as far as he had known. He turned his head and saw a weathered etching into the wood.  
  
'Megan was here.' He saw and a few of his sister's trademark doodles on the bedpost. His head shot straight up and he looked at Pete Zahut, sleeping on his bed, reading a book. He glared at him and picked up the quaffle from his bedside table then tossed it at the book, knocking it out of his hands. Pete sat up and looked at Matt angrily, his blonde hair, covering his eyes.  
  
"Asshole! What'd you do that for?" He asked and picked up the quaffle off the floor and chucked it at Matt who caught it.  
  
"When the hell was Megan there?" He asked and pointed to the graffiti. Pete looked down and gasped as he felt the carving under his fingertips.  
  
"She's never even been in here!" He said. "I swear to God, Matt."  
  
"Then where'd that come from?" He asked suspiciously.  
  
"I don't know!" He said. "It looks kind of old." Pete said as he surveyed the marking.  
  
"Kind of looks as old as the markings on the trunks." Matt said and then looked down at his trunk which had an old carving of a deer on it.  
  
"Kind of." Pete mimicked Matt. "You know, you're right." He ran his fingers across the carving in the bed and looked at Matt's trunk, handed down to him from his grandfather.  
  
"You're sure Megan was never, um, here." He said, not really wanting to hear the answer.  
  
"I think I'd know." Pete said with a smile, making sure not to look at Matt.  
  
"Shut up, man, that's disgusting." Matt shuddered.  
  
"Sorry." Pete said and looked at the quaffle, still in Matt's fist. "Was that there before?" He asked.  
  
"No, no it wasn't. I would have remembered that. I just find that odd."  
  
"It is odd. Maybe we should show a teacher." Pete said, Matt shook his head.  
  
"No teacher is going to think anything of it. The teachers will just think it's two people who love and miss Megan grasping to strands of her existence."  
  
"That was really deep, Matt." Pete commended him and Matt smiled at himself.  
  
"It was, wasn't it?"  
  
{A/N: Bad ending? I think it was, I haven't even read this last part to Mal. Hardy Har, so maniacally evil. Well, other then that crappy ending, I hope you enjoyed this installment. Mucho Love to all da reviewers (you're on my telepathic Christmas/Ramadan/Kwanzaa/Hanukah/any other holiday in the month of December where you get presents, but you won't really get any but you would if I knew you because you reviewed our story- list, hehehe) Well, au revoir! -Ash and Mal} 


	11. Love Eater Takes A Poop

Part 11-  
  
When Megan came out of the bathroom she tucked a portion of hair behind her ear and looked up at the boys. It was about ten thirty at night and they shot her confused glances. With an equally unsure expression, Megan walked to Peter's bed (who's turn it was to let Megan sleep in his and he on the floor) and pulled back the bedding. As she got under the sheets she felt the stares on her back and she looked up at the boys.  
  
"What!" She blurted out. She was getting aggravated by the silence. "What are you looking at?"  
  
"You sure were in the bathroom a long time." Darryl mentioned. Megan searched their faces for a smile, like that they were tricking the pathological liar and were going to explode with laughter at any moment. She received no such glance.  
  
"Yeah." She concurred and drew her words out for a long moment.  
  
"But your hair still looks the same." Said Peter from the floor. Megan looked down at him and he looked at her puzzled.  
  
"I wasn't fixing my hair. Why would I fix my hair at-"  
  
"Then what were you doing in there for so long?" James interrupted.  
  
"I was using the bathroom." She told them. She was still very confused by their bewilderment.  
  
"Man, you take a long time to pee." David said and marveled at her.  
  
"I wasn't peeing." She said, a little embarrassed.  
  
"Then how else were you 'using the bathroom'?" Reumus asked and used quotations around Megan's own words.  
  
"I wasn't peeing." She repeated with a hinting tone in her voice.  
  
"Don't tell me you were pooping!" James asked excitedly.  
  
"James, girls don't poop." David said.  
  
"Yeah, it's common knowledge." Sirius agreed.  
  
"What! Of course we poop, everyone poops."  
  
"Not girls."  
  
"They never talk about it." James pointed out.  
  
"And girls are too, you know, girly." Reumus added.  
  
"They don't poop." David stated and the group all agreed.  
  
"You are all nuts." She said and laid down. "The next time I poop, I'm going to leave it in the toilet and show you guys."  
  
"That's disgusting." Darryl said and got in his bed.  
  
"Who's too girly now?" She said sarcastically. "It doesn't matter to me, you'll find out when you get married."  
  
"Oh, that's when they start." Reumus said.  
  
"When?" Megan asked. "Please enlighten me one my own excretory system."  
  
"Girls start pooping when they get married. My ex-girlfriend Liz told me." Reumus said.  
  
"And you believing her, yeah, that's probably why she's a former girlfriend." She said, emphasizing the word 'former'.  
  
"Go to sleep Megan." Reumus said, defeated.  
  
"Heh, heh. Go make me a sandwich." She said with joy.  
  
"What?" He asked.  
  
"Yeah, you've lost. Now you're my little bitch and you get to make me a sandwich." The rest of the boys laughed at him.  
  
"I'm not making you a sandwich."  
  
"Actually, at first I was kidding but this brings up the subject of food." She said and sat up. "You guys, I sincerely appreciate all the food you've been bringing me from meals. But, could you not put it in your pockets?" She requested. "Maybe we could work out a Ziploc baggie system?"  
  
"Why?" Sirius asked.  
  
"You're getting pocket lint on all my food." She said.  
  
"I'm actually getting kind of sick of gravy inside my pockets." James said. Megan motioned at him.  
  
"Ok, so now we can think of a better way to feed me. Then I can poop it all out." She said and laughed at Reumus. "Dumbasses believing girls don't poop..." She murmured.  
  
Megan woke up twelve hours later. The room was empty, the boys were in class and she decided to continue with her mischief making that she had started the day before. She climbed out of bed, went to the bathroom and opened a drawer. A massive amount of makeup from the Gryffindor girls dormitory sat in front of her like the Holy Grail. She smiled and jumped up on the counter, plucking blush, eye shadow, lipstick, all sorts of things, from the drawer and applying it to her face. She admired herself for a moment and then got off the counter. A smile widened across her face and she left.  
  
She came down the stairs, past multiple doors that led into the other boys dormitories, and then entered the common room. Megan jumped on the thick armchairs and walked on them instead of the floor. She kept bouncing, attempting to grasp the rafter above her head to no avail. When that bored her (about an hour and a half later) she strolled to the door to the girls dormitory and went inside. Up the stairs, humming a song, she went into the first door she saw. This was the first year girls dorm. There hadn't been many interesting items in there before so she kept her snooping to a minimum.   
  
The sixth year girls proved to be her favorite room. She had figured out which area was her grandmother's. She sat on her bed and rummaged through her drawers, reading letters and looking at pictures. She found a particularly ironic letter from a girl named Tonya:  
  
'Lil-  
Oh my God! James Potter asked you to the Yule Ball? That's so weird! I saw him writing something in Potions and he wouldn't let me read it. I bet that was his letter to you. I'm so excited for you. Are you going to say yes? You better say yes! He's such a nice guy. Besides the whole Marauder thing. Although, that's kind of a plus when you think about it. Well, Binns is looking at me funny, I better go.  
Au Revoir,  
Tonya'  
  
That one was dated from 1975, a year before. Megan smiled as she wiped a tear from her chin and wondered what Lily had said. The letter she had found when she was cleaning must have been his first attempt at asking her to the dance. He probably couldn't get the nerve to give it to her until it was too late and he had lost it so he had written another one.   
  
"Poor guy." She said and put the letter back. Megan left the dormitory exactly as she had found it, returning to her place of temporary residence. As she walked in the door she noticed James was there, fists clenched, eyes closed and his back to the door. He was listening to a song and singing along with it.  
  
"I'm a joker, I'm a smoker, I'm a midnight toker. I get my lovin' on the ruuuun..." The musical bridge came into the song and he continued bobbing stiffly to the song. "This is like, my anthem." He said and Megan exploded with laughter. He turned to her suddenly, with embarrassment.  
  
"What the hell! Your anthem? Are you a country? Maybe a TV show." She said when she wasn't gasping for breath and laughing.  
  
"Shut up, Megan." He said. She stopped momentarily but continued when the voice from the gramophone sounded again with a 'Woop woooo'.  
  
"Don't you worry baby, don't worry, Mama." She said mockingly and grabbed his shoulder.   
  
"I hate you." He turned it off, grabbed his Charms book and left.   
  
***  
  
A few nights later, the boys (and Megan) were in the dormitory about to go to sleep when Peter came out of the bathroom with his hands full of the stolen make-up. He looked down at his hands as he shut the door with his butt. Reumus, who's bed was adjacent to the bathroom (and closest to Peter), caught Peter's eye and then looked at the make up.  
  
"Guys," Peter said and looked at the Marauders. "I-I know we take things sometimes, but I don't remember taking the girls make up. I really, really don't." He said earnestly.  
  
"We didn't take it." James said and jumped off the bed and over to Peter. "I know we didn't. Maybe someone drugged us and then we took it." James offered.  
  
"No one drugged us." Sirius said and looked over at Megan from the corner of his eye.  
  
"I remember stealing it!" David said and Darryl nodded.  
  
"Yes, we were trying to defeat the Dark Lord and get into the Chamber of Secrets when-"  
  
"Everybody knows the Chamber of Secrets isn't real, Darryl." Reumus said. Megan noticed the cruel irony that none of them would know for at least twenty-five years.  
  
"Look, we didn't steal it, that's the bottom line." James said and picked up an eye shadow. He looked at the bottom and the initials 'LE' on the label.  
  
"And how likely is it that Dumb and Dumber did?" Reumus said.  
  
"Megan, did you steal the make up?" Peter asked, still holding all of it.  
  
"What! No, that's my make up." She lied and started grabbing them out of Peter's hands. James gripped her wrist as she reached for a tube of lipstick.  
  
"If this is yours, what does LE stand for?" He asked and flashed the bottom of the eye shadow disc in his hand.  
  
"LE? That's -um- my nickname. Love Eater." She said unsurely and searched around with her eyes.  
  
"Love Eater?" James asked skeptically and let go of her wrist. She glared at him and snatched the eye shadow from his hand.  
  
"Hey! It's better than Space Cowboy." She said and ran into the bathroom.  
  
Three hours later she was still in the bathroom with the door locked. Reumus had spent twenty minuets banging on the door trying to make Megan let him in.  
  
"Megan, please! I've really got to pee!" He would plead.  
  
"Go out the window." Was her response more often than not. Once, Reumus almost broke down and did, but then reasoned with himself.  
  
"I can't, um, 'go' out the window. The groundskeeper is out there."  
  
"Pee on his head!" She shouted angrily.  
  
"Megan, I'll get frostbite on my..." He started but trailed off.  
  
"On your what?" Megan asked, finally finding some joy in this situation.  
  
"On my you-know-what."  
  
"Your wanky?" She asked in a high pitched, childish voice.  
  
"Yes, yes my wanky, now let me in-"  
  
"Your weiner?" She said in the same taunting voice.  
  
"Megan, let me in."  
  
"There are so many things you could call that."  
  
"Why don't we discuss this, after I pee!" He begged.  
  
"After you pee out of your Opposite of a Vagina?"  
  
"Fuck you, Megan." He said and gave up  
.  
"Heh, Heh, Heh." She said, happy with herself. She then turned on the faucet very high, high enough to be loud enough to be heard in the dorm room.  
  
"I hope you die!" He shouted.  
  
They tried so hard to get Megan out of that bathroom. Megan actually wanted to come out, but didn't want to face the boys after stealing. Suddenly there was a rap on the door.  
  
"Megan, we've got a suprise for you." She heard Sirius' voice, more calming than usual.  
  
"For me?"  
  
"For you." Sirius answered. "It's pizza."  
  
"Pizza?"   
  
"Yes, with pineapple and pepperoni and cheese."  
  
"Pineapple?"  
  
"THERE'S NO PIZZA!" Said an angry, growling voice in her ear. There was no one in the bathroom but herself, and she remembered opening her mouth to say it but she didn't know why. "THEY'RE LYING TO YOU!" It said.  
  
"Why would they lie to you? They're your friends. They love you." Said a calming voice in her other ear. Another voice she knew she had made, but didn't know why.  
  
"Megan, are you in there with someone?" David asked.  
  
"No." She said quickly.  
  
"But I hear someone." He said and leaned his ear against the door.  
  
"Liar!" She shouted.  
  
"I KNOW THERE'S NO PIZZA, I SAW THEM EAT IT ALL." Said the angry voice.  
  
"Yes there is." Megan argued and shot up from the floor and put her hand on the door knob. Then she heard another voice from behind the door.  
  
"Hey, Meg." Said the unfamiliar male voice. "This is Jim, Jim Morrison. I'll let you light my fire if you break on through to this side of the door." Megan jumped back in excitement and then suddenly opened the door to a room with no pizza, no pineapple, no pepperoni, and no Jim Morrison. She looked at them, with sheer disappointment in her eyes.  
  
"I was delirious." She said and shook her head, going towards the bed. Reumus made a mad dash for the door and the rest of the room went to sleep.  
  
  
{A/N: Ok, a few parts that need some discussion: The poop thing: Something we actually had to clarify with a few of our guy friends. How fucked up is that? All the penis names: I dunno, just thought it might be humorous and the Jim Morrison thing: Did you catch alll three references in that sentence? Uh-huh, extra points if you did! Talking to herself: Hell if I know, just a fun comment. And we're done! Mucho Love! Thanks for your reviews!} 


	12. Megan Da Girl Pimp Wondah

Part 12-  
  
Professor Krum sat in her office looking up at the portrait of Albus Dumbledore above the door. The headmaster before her. Her headmaster when she was a student. He'd never lost the Minister of Magic's daughter. And then she looked at the picture on her desk. She, Ron and Harry, on the day they graduated from Hogwarts. Her three best friends. She'd let one of them down so much. His own daughter had been under her care and she lost her. 'I'm a terrible Headmistress.' She thought. 'I should have let Snape have the job.' She shook her head in her hands and sighed. As she was drifting off to sleep she heard her door creak open.  
  
"Professor Hermione Krum, miss?" Dobby, the green, old house elf stood halfway in her office and halfway in the corridor in front of it. She raised her head and smiled at him.  
  
"Dobby, come on in." She declared. He walked to the desk and Hermione marveled at him. He was dressed, head to toe. Wearing a small tweed suit and a red bow tie, he was the head of the house elves at Hogwarts. "What do you need, a raise?" She asked. House elf treatment had   
Changed drastically since Dumbledore, that was something she prided herself in.  
  
"Oh, no no, Professor Hermione Krum Miss. Dobby has to tell Professor Hermione Krum miss something." He mumbled nervously. Krum nodded and urged Dobby to continue. "When Ninky and Yodele were cleaning in the Sixth Year Boys Dormitory of the Gryffindor tower they found a carving in the wood. A girls name on Peter Zahut's bedpost that wasn't there before." Hermione got up from her desk.  
  
"Alright Dobby, let's go." The two left the office, it was lunch time and all the students were in the Great Hall so they reached the Fat Lady quicker than usual.  
  
"Headmistress Gran- Krum, what a delightful pleasure!" The Fat Lady said, rolling all her 'r's.  
  
"Yes, it is isn't it. Would you be so kind?" She asked and flipped her hand to her.   
  
"Of course, dear." She said and the frame swung aside and led to the Gryffindor Common room. She looked around, a picture of Megan sat on the fireplace. Her tongue hanging out of her mouth and her middle finger up in the air she sat there as an ever obvious memorial to the Gryffindor students. They all knew she was dead. It had only been a week and they knew she must be dead. Professor Krum hoped for the best. Dobby called for her to come and they went upstairs, passed five doors and then opened the sixth. Ninky and Yodele, two brown, sad, big-eyed house elves stood by the bed looking at the bedpost.  
  
"Let's see this carving." She said, Ninky lifted the sheet and Hermione crouched down and looked at the old marking.  
  
"It looks like it is from a long time ago, Professor Hermione Krum miss." Hermione looked at it and traced it with her fingernail. "A very long time ago and no House elf remembers it being there before." She smiled a bit and looked at it closer.  
  
"I don't know what to tell you boys." She said and stood back up. "But it's not recent that's something I'm positive about."   
  
"So what is it?" Yodele asked.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
***  
'Seven days.' Megan thought biting her nails, curled up in a corner of the couch. 'I've been in the past for seven days. That's a long time to be time traveling.' She thought. 'I haven't had a good meal in seven days.' That was her biggest issue. 'Bro-dawg and Louie and Joel and Alice and Pete and Matt. They all miss me I bet. I bet they all think I'm dead.' She looked into the fire she had built herself. 'I want to go home.' Sirius was sitting next to her staring at her, confused.  
  
"Why won't you say something? You just have this blank stare and I'm scared." He said and looked into the fire to, thinking there may be something in there he hadn't seen.  
  
"Why don't you go to class? You're skipping and that's bad." She said. She wanted to leave.  
  
"It's Saturday." He said. She kept looking away. "Are you still mad about the Jim Morrison thing?"  
  
"That was a dirty, dirty trick, Sirius." She said, scornfully.  
  
"Why the hell did you believe that? Jim Morrison suddenly showing up at Hogwarts after he's been dead for five years? I mean it's beyond ridiculous." He said in his defense.  
  
"I get the point." She said and put her thumb in her mouth, biting the nail.  
  
"Even if he did come back to life, how could he come to Hogwarts?" Sirius continued.  
  
"I get the point." Megan repeated, she could feel the rage bubbling inside her.  
  
"Is he magical or some-" Sirius attempted to continue but was cut off by Megan- punching him across the face. She stood up and unclenched her fist. He looked up at her, astonished and afraid.  
  
"Ow..." He said with confusion.  
  
"I get the point." She said and then turned away.  
  
"Where are you going?" He asked, his hand on his cheek.  
  
"I'm going to bed." She said and slung the door open and it wheezed closed behind her. As soon as she was out of sight, the Portrait hole door swung open. Reumus and Peter walked in and looked at Sirius with his hand plastered to his face.  
  
"What happened to you?" Peter asked.  
  
"Megan hit me." He answered.  
  
"Why?" Peter continued his inquisition.  
  
"No reason, really."  
  
"I told you she was trouble!" Reumus said and sat down on the couch.   
  
As this conversation went on, Megan was plodding up the stairs angrily, tightening and letting go her hand. It hurt when she hit Sirius. She wouldn't do that again. 'He's pretty thick headed.' She thought and laughed at herself. 'I crack me up.' When she got to the door to the dormitory she pulled it open and saw that the curtains on James' bed were pulled shut.  
  
"James, I hope you're not taking a nap because it's your turn to sleep on the floor." She   
said, approaching the bed. She grabbed the curtain and pulled it open with a jerk to reveal James and Lily {A/N: Fully clothed mind you, no Harry makin tonight}. Lily jumped back with a shout and fell off the bed with a thud. Megan and James watched silently as she clung to fabric and bedposts and attempted to stand back up.  
  
"Are you doing all right, Lily?" James asked and looked at her as she finally got to her feet.  
  
"I'm fine. James, who is this?" She asked, still in shock.  
  
"This? Um, this is-"  
  
"What do you think you're doing with my little bitch?" Megan asked, hands on her hips. She smacked him in the back of the head. "I knew we should have put a leash on you. You're getting fixed tomorrow!" She declared and sat on Sirius' bed.  
  
"What? How are you her little bitch? I'm so confused." She said and put her hands on the top of her head and sat down.  
  
"I'm not her little bitch, Lily."  
  
"Then what is she doing here."  
  
"You know, how when you're a kid and your walking down the street and then there's a dog?" Lily looked at him with confusion but nodded for him to continue. "Well, the dog follows you home. You hide the dog in your room so your parents never find out. But then, while you're at classes the dog-"  
  
"I think I'm more of a cat person, James." Megan interrupted. "I mean I have a dog at home and all, but I think if I were an animal I'd be a cat."  
  
"Let me finish my story Megan."  
  
"Sorry, go ahead."  
  
"Anyway, Lily, the dog- or cat- goes around and steals your dad -or girlfriend's- make up -or shoes- and then-"  
  
"Is she the one stealing our makeup?"  
  
"IT'S NOT MY FAULT! They made me do it."  
  
"We did not!"  
  
"If you hadn't pushed my bag out the window..."  
  
"That was an accident and it was Reumus."  
  
"He was doing it on purpose! He hated me from the start and THREW my bag out the window into the Forbidden For- Did you call Lily your girlfriend?" She asked, changing her tone at the end of her statement.  
  
"I did..." James said realizing it.  
  
"That can't be cost effective for you, Lil." Megan said and looked over at her.  
  
"Excuse me?" Lily looked confused at Megan.  
  
"This cuddle session alone is going to cost you sixty Galleons." She said, referring to her 'little bitch' comment.  
  
"I'm not paying to cuddle with my boyfriend... We weren't cuddling."  
  
"You were not having sex. Please tell me you weren't having sex."  
  
"We weren't."  
  
"If there is a God in Heaven you will not tell me you were having sex."  
  
"We were just talking."  
  
"LIAR!" She screamed and got in the fetal position on the bed.  
  
"But I'm not lying." Lily said and looked at James in panic.  
  
"SEX IS NOT YOUR FRIEND!"  
  
"You talk about sex all the time Megan." James said.  
  
"Not when it involves you having sex. You will be an old man someday."  
  
"Everyone is going to be old someday." Lily mentioned.  
  
"Yes, but I won't know them all someday." She reasoned. 'They won't all be my GRANDPARENTS someday.' She thought.  
  
"I'm totally lost." Lily turned to James.  
  
"Megan, Megan is a special girl."  
  
"I noticed."  
  
"Megan is from the future."  
  
"No she's not."  
  
"Yes, yes she is."  
  
"Hoohoohoo." Lily made a noise of confusion and looked at Megan. "I- I've got to tell Dumbledore." Prefect Lily kicked into action right there. She got up off the bed and started moving to the door, with James and Megan close behind.  
  
"No, no, no!" James said and chased after her.  
  
"You can't tell Dumbledore." Megan said and tried to grab her wrist. "Have you ever kissed a Malfoy?" Megan stalled.  
  
"What?" She succeeded.  
  
"Have you?" James asked. The three of them stood in the hallway James and Lily were looking at each other with sincerity.  
  
"No." Lily said.  
  
"You kinda have the face of a person who's kissed a Malfoy."  
  
"What does a person who's kissed a Malfoy look like?"  
  
"Me." Megan said proudly. 'And that's extra funny because I do kinda look like her.' Megan thought.  
  
"Anyway..." Lily went to turn around but James grabbed her.  
  
"Have you?"  
  
"There was this one time during a Potions project. It was no big deal and it was just a little thing and-"  
  
"I'm never kissing you again." He said, disgusted.  
  
"Did you enjoy it?" Megan asked.  
  
"No it was actually kind of nausiating." She said, embarrased. Then she kept walking.  
  
"Lily, please!" James pleaded.  
  
"If you tell Dumbledore, they'll send me back."  
  
"That's the idea, a return to normalcy." Lily said, they were almost to the stairs.  
  
"Megan's running from the Ministry." James said.  
  
"Harboring a criminal! I am ashamed of you James Potter."  
  
"If I go back, they'll send me to Alakazam."  
  
"Azkaban, Megan." James corrected.  
  
"Right, that place."  
  
"That is not my cross to bear." Lily said and kept going, almost to the door. They kept shooting excuses for her not to tell without realizing what they were doing until Megan got so frustrated that she shouted.  
  
"DON'T SEND ME BACK TO THE FUTURE!" She threw her arms in the air and stopped. Then opened one eye and looked around. The glow of the fire in the Common room was all she saw but could hear people breathing around her. She opened the other eye and then put her arms down, looking around she realized exactly where she was- in the middle of the Gryffindor common room on Saturday night.  
  
{A/N: Woop woop! Another chapter of excitement. How about it? Happy New Year everyone. I hope we get BOOK 6 this year. That would be exciting! Woop woop. Alrighty well, Read and Review. Much Love.} 


	13. It's Not Exactly All Gravy

Part 13-  
  
"Tell me again why you were hiding in the sixth year boys dormitory?" Headmaster Albus Dumbledore asked from behind his desk. Two other Professors stood in the office with him, Professor Trelawny and another woman professor Megan had never met before. The skin from her forehead was pulled back so tightly by her bun that Megan assumed that was what kept her eyes open.  
  
"Because they are the ones that found me." She answered meekly.  
  
"Where?" Asked the tight haired one.  
  
"In the Forbidden Forest."  
  
"It's forbidden, hence: the name." The tight haired woman said shortly.  
  
"But I was running away."  
  
"Running away from what?" Dumbledore asked.  
  
"The Ministry of Magic."  
  
"Why is the Ministry after you?" She asked Megan. Trelawny was standing in the corner with her fingers over her eyes and humming. Megan had to look away to avoid laughing.  
  
"My dad's the minister of magic and I broke into the Slytherin common room and broke all the furniture and then I ran away and then Bro-dawg told me to stop and I went and then I thought about dementor repellant, which would be a good idea if you think about it, and then I ran into the woods and there was-"  
  
"Stop." Dumbledore said. "Your father is Ivan Norris?"  
  
"Do I look like my father is Ivan Norris?"  
  
"Does Ivan Norris' daughter look a certain way?" Dumbledore asked.  
  
"Not like this."  
  
"Megan, you need to stop acting like that." Reumus said from behind her and put an arm on her shoulder. They were in there too. Reumus, Sirius, James, Peter, David, Darryl and Lily.  
  
"How are you the Minister of Magic's daughter then?" Lily asked. "I mean since you're not Ivan Norris' daughter."  
  
"Yes, enlighten us." The tight haired woman asked.  
  
'I don't like you. I'm hungry. I'm going to eat you.' She thought and stared up at the woman. Her stomach growled loudly. The room looked at her.  
  
"I'm hungry." She admitted.  
  
"Well! What else is new! Megan is hungry! Big suprise there! That's all I've heard this past week! 'I'm hungry, I want to have sex with Jim Morrison, I poop,' and then POW! I get socked in the face. Is this the thanks I get!? I put gravy in my pants. GRAVY!" Sirius went off on a tangent.   
  
"It wasn't even good gravy. You should tell those house elves they need to work on their gravy." Megan said.  
  
"It was hot gravy, that's all I know." Sirius said, rubbing his leg where his gravy filled pocket would have been.  
  
"Wasn't hot when I ate it out of your pants!" The room was quiet as Megan realized what she had said. "I mean it was in a bowl, from the Great Hall. That they stole for me-"  
  
"You were better off when you were eating out of his pants." James said.  
  
"Backing up to why you're here!" The woman shouted. "What is your last name?" The woman asked.  
  
"I could ask you the same question Miss." Megan said and crossed her arms across her chest.  
  
"McGonagall- Wait! I'll ask the questions!"   
  
'You look like McGonagall.' Megan thought, remembering what her father had told her about the Deputy Headmistress.  
  
"What is your last name?" She repeated.  
  
"I can't tell you. But I can tell you my code name- Agent Negative-"  
  
"DON'T TELL THEM!" Darryl and David shouted at the same time. Megan turned to them.  
  
"Secret agents have code names for a reason Neg Four Four." David said.  
  
"Did you give me a nickname without my knowledge?" She asked, disturbed.  
  
"No, you knew all along." Darryl said as if he was telling someone the sky was blue.  
  
"SHUT UP SHOEMAKERS!" McGonagall shouted at the boys. "Now, again: What's your last name?"  
  
"I can't tell you."  
  
"Tell me."  
  
"If they leave, I will be more than happy."  
  
"They aren't going anywhere." McGonagall said with finality.  
  
"Ok." Megan said and uncrossed her arms. "You don't want them to leave. Then they are going to hear a lot of things you aren't going to like." She cleared her throat and began the unveiling of the future.  
  
"Well, my name is Megan Potter. As in Harry Potter. As in James Potter. As in Lily and James Potter fornicate and give birth to my father. He inserted his penis into her vagina and nine months later, my dad comes out of there." Lily and James looked at each other and then back at Megan. Lily could feel her face flush. "But about a year later, the Dark Lord is after them. Uh-oh, gotta get a secret keeper. Who to pick? Of course a Marauder, but which one? First off they pick Sirius but OUT OF NOWHERE, they (stupid move if you ask ME!) change to Peter. Who, doesn't look like it, but he's a Death eater. He waddles to Voldemort and says: 'Yo, Voldie, I'll tell you where James and Lily are if you give me a seat of power.'" Peter could feel the looks he was receiving from the other three Marauders and Lily.  
  
"I wouldn't do that." Peter said. "That's horrible. Why would I do that. Megan I let you sleep in my bed!"  
  
"You fucking bastard, you kill me!" James said and smacked the back of his head.  
  
"I do not." Peter argued.  
  
"Please tone down your language, Mister Potter." McGonagall says. "Continue, Megan."  
  
"Thank you Professor. Well-"  
  
"Megan, may I please ask you to pause for a moment. I need the rest of the staff in here to be sure I'm not crazy." Dumbledore said calmly and walked out of the room. Fifteen minutes of unbearable silence went by and Dumbledore returned the entirety of Hogwarts staff.  
  
"Go on." He beckoned.  
  
"As I was saying: So Voldie kills you two and Harry lives. Not sure how, but he does. Then from the blast meant to kill Daddy-kins, Darth Vader goes into exile in this mere shadow of himself. Harry goes and lives with, get this Nana," Megan said and turned to Lily. "Petunia, her husband Vernon and her really fat son Dudley. They screw him up royally for his entire life. That's why he's such a dick now! The Dursleys (your in-laws) warp the poor kid for life. Then he goes to Hogwarts. By the way, the Chamber of Secrets, yeah- it's real.  
  
"Anyway after his adventures at Hogwarts, and life as a bachelor, he meets a nice lady named Kathleen. He and Kathleen get married, create my brother Matt. A year later they create me (Ta-da!) Megan Potter. That, Professors, is my last name."  
  
"As terribly exciting as that was, none of what you've just told us has explained why you're here." A short, balding professor said. Megan clasped her hands under her nose and rested her chin on her thumbs. She looked up at Dumbledore.  
  
"Have you ever kissed a Malfoy?"  
  
"Not recently." He said with a smile.  
  
"Well, that is the reason I'm here. Do you know Lucius Malfoy?" Everyone nodded. "Do you know Narcissa Williams?"  
  
"AHH!" The students in the room lurched back in disgust.  
  
"They..."  
  
"Yeah. Well, they make a baby named Draco. He marries this lady named Iris, who is Mondo nice. I don't know why she marries him. Iris is friends with my mom- Kathleen. Iris and Kathleen are pregnant at the same time. Female bonding occurs, yada-yada, and then Matt and Cliffe are born at the same time. Matt is my brother, Cliffe is Draco's kid. His real name is Radcliffe, but I call him Cliffe. Well, most of the time Pencil-Dick, that's only because I like him. Anyway, then Iris and Kathleen get pregnant at the same time AGAIN and then they make Me and Louie. Julius but who wants to be called Julius anyways? Me and Louie, we've been friends since the womb! So anyway, in Career Decisions, which by the way you should avoid having that as a class, Cliffe is making fun of Bro-Dawg's hair- it's green."  
  
"Who is Bro-Dawg?" Asked Dumbledore, entranced by the story now.  
  
"Ahem, as I was saying- Cliffe is making fun of Bro-Dawg's hair and then we beat him up. Professor Creevy tells us to make up and then he kisses me. I was infuriated!"  
  
"But I thought you liked him, that's why you call him that name." McGonagall said.  
  
"I do- but you don't go around kissing people. Who knows where his tongue has been? Down Denise Thermapolis' throat and you don't want any of that." Megan shook her head. "So, he pissed us off. Me, Joel, Alice, Bro-Dawg and Louie go to the Slytherin common room and mess up all the furniture and stupid Cliffe has to pee so he comes down to the common room. We get caught and I'm in Krum's office and stupid Krum calls up my dad in the fireplace thing and then some man finds out what horrible terrible things I've been up to (which by the way weren't that terrible if you ask me) and says 'Megan should go to Alakazam!'"  
  
"Azkaban, Megan." James corrected.  
  
"Right, Right, Alakazam. Anyways, I hear that I am going to get my soul sucked out by Dementors and I'm not too keen on that idea so Megan runs away. And I'm running, I'm running and then slurp! I'm sucked through time from the year 2018 to 1976!"  
  
"The world will be no more by 2018." Said Trelawny in a misty, clairvoyant voice.  
  
"Yeah and you know what- you happen to be full of crap. Fire her." Megan said to Dumbledore. Trelawny placed a hand on her chest and attempted to ignore her. "So then I'm here and the Marauders were in the Forbidden Forest working on the Marauder's Map-"  
  
"What is the Marauder's Map?" McGonagall asked and looked at the four boys.  
  
"It's a map that tells you where people are, and passwords and all sorts of good stuff about Hogwarts." Megan said jovially.  
  
"Oh really. Well, we're going to need that, Mr. Potter." McGonagall said, assigning the responsibility to James.  
  
"Alrighty, Megan, I think I've finally got your story straight. You're here because Radcliffe Malfoy kissed you?"  
  
"And because the man in my dad's office said I should go to Alakazam." She added.  
  
"Are there any questions anyone would like to ask Megan." Dumbledore said to everyone's suprise.   
  
"How do you plan on getting home?" McGonagall asked. Megan shrugged. Darryl and David raised their hands.  
  
"What do we do with our lives?" David asked, beaming. Megan had no idea.  
  
"Um, you get herpes." She said pointing to David. "And you create a pizza chain called Pizza Hut and make money coming out your ears." She said to Darryl.  
  
"A house made entirely out of pizza! I've been thinking about this for a long time." Darryl said.  
  
"You might want to work on that."  
  
"Megan, if what you've been saying is true then, do you have any idea how many memories I'll have to erase of you?" Dumbledore said. She looked at him with an eyebrow raised.  
  
"I told you to make them leave." She declared. Dumbledore shook his head and looked at her.  
  
"You are a strange, strange girl."  
  
***  
  
Brody and Louie were walking down the halls one day. Brody's hair was blue now, but only in the front she had let her natural blonde hair come through everywhere but her bangs.  
  
"How long has Megan been gone?" Louie asked.  
  
"A week and a day." Brody said blankly.  
  
"Do you think she's dead?"  
  
"I think she found a small third world country to do her bidding."   
  
"She probably convinced them that she was a god."   
  
"Sounds like Megan." They kept walking and Brody tucked a strand of hair behind her   
ear.  
  
"I could go for some pizza." He said and rubbed his stomach.  
  
"Yeah." As they kept walking they stopped and turned to the wall. In front of them stood   
a red awning and a wide window with a cashier inside and a menu behind her.  
  
"Hey look Brody, there's a Pizza Hut."  
  
"You know, where ever Megan is. I really think she had something to do with this."  
  
"Why's that?"  
  
"Who else would?"  
  
{A/N: Long chapter! LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG chapter. Hope you enjoyed it and that there is a more excited response. Our Pet Girl is coming to a close. *tear tear* Well, another chapter is coming soon. Much love} 


	14. Ms Potatoe No Longer Has To Eat Out Of P...

Part 14-  
  
Megan, The Marauders, David, Darryl and Lily came back into the Gryffindor tower after hours of interrogation. The sun shot beams of light into the common room and Megan felt that the thick armchair looked like a little, green slice of heaven. As she fell onto the chair she looked over at Sirius in the twin armchair next to hers.  
  
"Why do the Headpeople find it necessary to do this kind of thing late at night or early in the morning?" She asked and closed her tired eyes.  
  
"Why do certain Prefects tell their friends secrets?" He said and glared at Lily.  
  
"Sirius, I was only doing what was right." Lily said angrily and headed towards the dorms. She grabbed the thick handle and pulled it. As she did so, a force stronger than her own pushed it and her friend Tonya Levvins ran into the common room closely followed by Margaret Thompson chasing her with a hair brush. They giggled and ran directly past Lily and around the rest of the tired bunch, not noticing the alien girl in the chair. They circled the chairs four times before stopping dead in their tracks and staring at Megan.  
  
"Who are you?" Tonya asked as Margaret tumbled into her.  
  
"You aren't a Gryffindor." Margaret declared.  
  
"Gee, Captain Obvious, lay another one of your astute observations on me." Megan said sarcastically and rubbed her eyes with the base of her palms.  
  
"Who are you?" Tonya repeated.  
  
"Megan Pot- Potato."  
  
"Your last name is 'Potato?'" Margaret asked suspiciously.  
  
"Yeah, you got a problem with it?" Megan said and jumped up from the chair.  
  
"Stop it Megan." James said weakly.  
  
"She insulted my last name! I don't make fun of her for being fat!" Margaret gasped at this and became angry.  
  
"You haven't had a chance to speak to her much less make fun of her." Reumus argued.  
"Your last name isn't even Potato." James said.  
  
"Like hell it isn't!" Megan raised her fists and then attempted to do a back flip off the chair to impress her opponent, only to fail miserably and do a handstand in the seat before toppling the chair over and hurting herself.  
  
"Damn chairs."  
  
"Megan, do you need to be restrained before you hurt someone else?" James asked. Peter sat in a far away corner in a state of shock. How could he ever do something so vile to his friends. He would be sure never to even consider the dark side.  
  
"Who are you?" Tonya asked once more.  
  
"Megan Potato." Megan said.  
  
"Just tell them your real last name, Megan." James urged. "They don't believe the Potato shit."  
  
"Alright. I'm Megan Potter."  
  
"As in James' long lost...."  
  
"Grand daughter." She finished their sentence. Margaret and Tonya stood silently for a moment, trying to process the information.   
  
"Who's your mom?" Tonya asked and looked over at Lily. Lily closed her eyes and gulped. 'Please lie, please lie, please lie.' Lily prayed to anything that would assist her.  
  
"You." She answered Tonya. Tonya swallowed hard and looked at James who looked at Megan who looked at her feet.  
  
"I wouldn't... Oh man." Tonya went back up towards the door, when as she opened it Peg Collier, a gossipy third year, opened the door. She looked at Tonya and smiled. Peg looked around the room at everyone.  
  
"Lily, don't you need to be getting ready?" She asked and looked at Lily rumpled clothes. Lily just looked around. Peg's eyes then moved to the short brunette in front of the knocked over chair.  
  
"That's her!" Peg shouted. "That's the girl who came in here from the boys dorm last night, Tonya. I told you guys. She said she was from the future." Pet said snottily.  
  
"I don't think I like her." Megan said and picked up the chair. Peg didn't hear her. She just kept getting louder and louder until people started pouring into the room. Slowly, sleepy eyed, tousled haired Gryffindors came into the common room and saw Megan. They all seemed surprised at her presence. Megan took a seat in the chair she had knocked over. It was going to be a long morning.  
  
"Excuse me, excuse me." Asked a tall blonde boy. "My name is Jeremiah Johnson. I was just wondering if you would be so kind as to inform me of my future situation."  
  
"What situation?"  
  
"What I end up being. A politician, a salesman, a professor, that sort of thing."  
  
"Do you think I know the whole fucking world in the future?"  
  
"I don't know girls who would talk like that!" He said, taken aback.  
  
"Yeah?! Yeah!? Well, guess what ass wipe, we poop too!" She shouted. The room all stepped back two steps. "Sorry, I'm very tired. Jeremiah, I have no idea what you do with your life, but I'm sure you'll do wonderful at it." She said with fake niceness.  
  
"That was so rude." He said and headed back up the stairs.  
  
"I'm Herbert Powell, do you know what I do?"  
  
"Oh the question is WHO! You are the biggest male prostitute in all of Knockturn Alley in 1996." Megan lied and was suddenly happy.  
  
"Look, I'll read your futures all later. Tonight. I have to get all of my things together because Dumbledore is looking for a way to get me out of here. Please, please, please do not tell anyone about this. It will be a lot of work for everyone involved to cover it up when I leave. Thank you so much."  
  
By lunch Hogwarts was buzzing about the girl from the future. Sirius was no help in the matter, telling all her stories about mashed potato fights and Malfoy kissing. Poor Narcissa almost fainted when she found out who her partner to be was. And what was Mattie Bones to think when she learned she would have an illegitimate child with a man from Australia. Nathan Finch was flabbergasted to learn Ophelia Hawthorne would marry him and then divorce him for his best friend Bernard Fletchly. The school was in a tizzy all over Megan.  
  
The only tizzy Megan was in was about going home. She knew she might have ruined the world as she knew it. If Sirius stayed the secret keeper, as James and Lily had been forewarned to do, Voldemort would never find them and that meant for certain he wouldn't have lost to the baby Harry. Which meant Harry would never be a hero, get tired of the heroism and go to Scotland for the weekend on vacation and meet her mother. Would Megan ever be born?!   
  
This also meant that Voldemort was never defeated by the back lash of Avada Kadavra on Harry. What would come of the world where Voldemort still reigned supreme. Would anyone ever defeat him?  
  
She was sitting in a chair with her bag by her side contemplating this when the Portrait hole door opened and McGonagall came in. Megan looked up at her. It was time to go. Back to the future to face a world she didn't know whether or not would exist for her anymore.  
  
"Well, Ms. Potter." McGonagall said crisply. "The secret is out. The whole school knows that you are here. I suppose it is just cruel to make those boys bring you hidden food when everyone knows you're here." Megan liked where this was going. "Would you like to come down for a meal?"  
  
"You mean off of a plate! Not out of someone's pants! Yes!" Megan exclaimed and hugged her around the waist. McGonagall went stiff and felt very uncomfortable.  
  
"Please, Megan. Please get off of me." Megan let go and she hurried down the halls to the Great Hall. As she came in the door behind McGonagall she could feel the eyes on her and she didn't like it as much as she thought she would. James came up from the table in shock.  
  
"Megan!" He shouted and clam chowder squeezed out of his pant pocket. Megan quashed a laugh.  
  
"Keep it in your pants, James." She said. Many of the students laughed. Most of them actually. Some either didn't get it, or were to surprised by Megan's presence to notice what had happened with James. She went over to the Gryffindor table and felt a finger go down the back of her collar. McGonagall looked down at her.  
  
"There isn't any room over there for you. You need to come up here to eat." She demanded and Megan followed sadly behind. As she ascended the steps to the teachers table she looked at the view. Hundreds of heads all turned in one direction. Four turned down to James' pants. Megan took the empty seat between Dumbledore and McGonagall. There wasn't supposed to be an empty seat between the Headmaster and Deputy. She took her seat and then started eating.  
  
'Food without lint. It feels like it's been an eternity.' She thought and swallowed the warm chowder. 'Man, I could kill James for telling me that stuff was spices in the soup. It was lint. Damn man whore.'  
  
"Megan, we need to discuss plans to return you to your time." Dumbledore said. Megan bit her lower lip and then spooned a large heap of chowder into her mouth.  
  
"Can't talk. Mouth Full." She mumbled and chewed slowly in attempt to stall the inevitable.  
  
"Megan, you don't exactly have to chew this." Dumbledore said and rested his head in his hand.  
  
"It's impolite." She said as if she was completing her last statements. Dumbledore nodded and laughed, turning back to his own bowl. As soon as Megan realized her bowl was empty, she panicked.  
  
"I've got to piss like a racehorse." She declared and got up from the table only to be stopped by McGonagall.  
  
"Professor Dumbledore would like to speak with you." She said. Megan turned back around and sat down in her chair. Turning to Dumbledore he slurped his chowder.  
  
"Now, Megan. Let's think of how we can do this? There's possibly a serum, but our Potions master will have to help with that and he has class to teach and he's already working on a memory potion to go in the student's meals. Speaking of which, I need this." He said and plucked on of her hairs out of her head.  
  
"Ow!" She exclaimed and watched as he put it in a glass vile and corked it.  
  
"Let me see. I know! After lunch, you and I will go out into the forest where you ran away. We'll find the spot where the 'swirly purple thing' as you said, was. Then we will just wait until the right time and BAM! You'll be back in no time. Or in your time." He said and chuckled at himself.  
  
While they discussed this, or rather Dumbledore did, Lily and James were sitting silently across from each other. James was wiping a napkin around the inner lining of his pocket pointlessly. The chowder was all out of there, he just didn't know what to say to Lily. He was angry that she'd given Megan up, but still in shock that they would get married. Lily felt the same. She twirled her spoon in the remainder of chowder in the bowl, pushing the white broth around, exposing the gilding of the bowl.  
  
"Are you really never going to kiss me again?" She asked and kept the spoon twirling in the bowl.  
  
"What?" James had no idea what she was talking about.  
  
"Well, when I told you and Megan that I had kissed a Malfoy-"  
  
"Which Malfoy was that by the way?"  
  
"Which one do you think?" She said sarcastically and dropped the spoon in the bowl, making a clattering sound. She started motioning with her hands to help show her desperation. "James, it was nothing. We were working on a potions project after classes in the dungeons in third year. It was stupid. Not a big deal at all. In fact, when you get down to the bare bones of it, Lucius kissed me." She said and awaited his response.  
  
"I don't care, Lily. I didn't mean that. I mean, I can't very well now." He said and looked up at her. "Megan says we get married. Megan says we have a kid together, Lily. That's a big deal."  
  
"Would it have mattered if you didn't know we'd get married?" Lily asked.  
  
"Of course not. Because that was the past. It doesn't matter now." James answered and smiled.  
  
"So it will never be an issue?" Lily asked, making sure. James put his hand on hers and kept smiling.  
  
"A complete non-issue." He assured her.  
  
  
"James, there is clam chowder all over the inside of your hand." Lily said sweetly. He lifted it up and sure enough, white chowder covered her hand and inside his own.  
  
{A/N: Yeah! I was worried you guys didn't love us due to the lack of reviews on chapter 12. That's ok tho, FF.N was down for a little bit there. Anywhoodles, I hope you enjoyed that. Responsible Readers Respond!} 


	15. Pizza Hut Doesn't Deliver For Professor ...

Part 15-  
  
Ron Weasly rubbed the space between his eyes. His employees taking notes and pictures. He was waiting to for Hermione. She arrived in a huff, with embarrassment written across her face.  
  
"What a nice reunion." Ron said as she made her way to him.  
  
"Please, Ron." She said and looked at the red awning. "Have you figured out why this... this thing is in my school?" She asked motioning to it. Suddenly, as if out of nowhere, classes started to change. Students came from every direction and Louie, Alice, Brody and Joel came down the hall slowly.  
  
"Who could go for a slice of pizza?" Brody said and pulled a few Sickles from her pockets. "My treat." She said and smiled.  
  
"No no no!" Hermione shouted. "This thing is getting out of here as soon as possible. Ron, have you figured it out?" She repeated.  
  
"No, I haven't." He said and looked at Brody, confused.  
  
"Why don't you get one of your lackeys to get you a picture? It'll last longer." She said and motioned to the officials taking pictures and then started in the flow of traffic.  
  
"Why the heck not!" Hermione shouted, ignoring what had just happened with Brody.  
  
"That was rather rude. Who is that girl?"  
  
"Brody Alexander." Louie answered his question. "Don't worry about her. You need to get the pizza chain out of our school."  
  
"Very true, Mr. Malfoy. Please go to class." Joel and Alice went on but Louie stayed there and watched the Muggle Relations department at work.  
  
"Mr. Malfoy, I told you to leave." Hermione repeated.  
  
"Do you have any theories?" Ron asked Louie. Hermione was flabbergasted.  
  
"Ron! You are the head of Muggle Relations you do not need the opinion of a fifteen year old student." She shouted.  
  
"Personally, I think you should see if Megan has any connection into this." Hermione turned to him in suprise.  
  
"Do you know something about Megan?" Hermione asked excitedly.  
  
"All I know is Megan is a mighty big fan of pizza and I wouldn't put it past her to have found some wizard with a grudge against the school to put a pizza chain in here."  
  
"No wizard could do that." Hermione said. "Hogwarts has a special-"  
  
"I'm sure he knows, you are the headmistress here and I'm sure Hogwarts: A History is on the booklist for every grade level." Ron said sarcastically.  
  
"You make me so mad." She said shortly. He shrugged and started back over to the wall. She then turned back to Louie. "Do you really believe Megan had a hand in this?"  
  
"Where ever she is, she would do her damnedest to get us a Pizza Hut. She always said this place needed an alternative to JUST Great Hall food." He said.  
  
"How would she convince a wizard to do that?" She asked.  
  
"She must have used her powers of persuasion." He said and winked.  
  
"What is that supposed to mean?" Hermione asked with confusion.  
  
"Well, she probably flashed him." He said and walked on to class. Hermione turned back to the obtrusion in the wall. Bored with her failure as a headmistress, she went away and back to her office where she found a tall, gray haired man in a blue business suit toying with things on her desk.  
  
"Who are you?" She asked in a panic.  
  
"Darryl Shoemaker." He said and extended his hand. She looked down at it and then back at his face.  
  
"Why are you in my office?"  
  
"I just wanted to see how the restaurant was doing." He said and sat on her desk.  
  
"Get off of that!" She shouted and went around to her chair. "What rest- YOU!"  
  
"V!" He shouted.  
  
"What?" Hermione was confused.  
  
"U, V, W, X..."  
  
"This isn't a game, Mr. Shoemaker. I don't know why you did it but you have caused a lot of problems in my school." She said. "I'm going to call the Ministry."  
  
"There's no need for that." He said and sat in the chair across from the desk. He began fidgeting in the chair.  
  
"What are you doing?" She asked, Hermione was getting very annoyed.  
  
"I can't stay still." He said. Hermione's eyes glistened with revelation.  
  
"Alright! Where is she!" She said and jumped up from her chair, pointing an accusatory finger in his direction.  
  
"Where is who?" He asked, afraid.  
  
"Megan!" She was getting more angry as he annoyed her.  
  
"Who is that?" He asked and moved her finger out of his face.  
  
"She probably didn't tell you her name." Hermione thought out loud. Darryl was very confused. "She's short, light brown hair, green eyes, loud, obnoxious, violent. She might have shown you her breasts." Hermione described Megan and Darryl shook his head. "YOU'RE LYING!" She screamed.  
  
"I don't lie anymore. I've taken therapy and now I can only tell the truth. It's a beautiful thing." He said and smiled.  
  
"What?"  
  
"My brother, David and I used to be Pathological liars. After he died I knew I needed to change." Hermione looked at him with sheer confusion.  
  
"Well, I suppose the store is doing well?" Darryl asked.  
  
"No, it's been taped off, so to speak, from the students. They don't need to be buying Pizza between classes. It is a distraction and as soon as we can, we are getting it out of here. How, pray tell, did you manage to put this 'addition' to my school in?"  
  
"Oh, well...actually, it just. I don't really know." He said with a laugh. "I just saw the paper on my desk that said it was here and I figured I should check it out. Well, I ought to be leaving." He got up and left, Hermione still in a state of shock and confusion. She was speechless. Then she felt warmth from behind her chair.   
  
'Strange. I don't remember starting the fire." She thought and turned around. From the fireplace, a young Albus Dumbledore looked back at her. The vision of him was blurry and his words seemed to have static.  
  
"Professor, what is it dear?" He asked and his head turned.  
  
"Krum." Hermione heard a female say from far off.  
  
"Right, Krum. How are you doing?" Hermione felt like she was hallucinating.  
  
"I-I'd be better if I wasn't going crazy." She said and picked up her glass of water, dousing herself with it. Dumbledore chuckled.  
  
"You aren't going crazy. I'm Albus Dumbledore, former headmaster. Well, actually I am headmaster now, but I am not during your time. Of course you know that because you ARE headmistress." He said and shook his head. "This could get confusing so I'll keep it short."  
  
"Could get confusing?" Hermione said.  
  
"A girl from your time, 2018, has come through some sort of Vortex into our time, 1976."  
  
"A girl?" Hermione asked.  
  
"Yes, her name is Megan Potter." A wave of relief washed over Hermione. 'At least I know where she is now.' Hermione thought.  
  
"Is she all right?"  
  
"Oh yes, quite fine. A little delusional, thinks she's going to Azkaban, but she's fine." Hermione sighed.  
  
"Professor, do you have any idea how to get her back here?" Hermione asked.  
  
"Oh plenty, none that would work, but plenty of ideas. One involves an emu and some lotion. I don't think that's a very good idea." Dumbledore said. "My, time travel, even if only for conversation, is quite tiring. I just thought it might be important for you to know. We're working on a way to send her back to you."  
  
"WAIT!" Hermione said just as his head was fading out. "What is the date?" She asked and pulled a quill from her desk drawer.  
  
"October 19th. She's been here for nine days." Dumbledore answered. "If that's all I do believe I need to go, being so drained and all. Ta-Ta." He said and then was gone. The date from Megan's current location was concurrent with the one of Hermione's. She now realized she had a lot of work to do.  
  
{A/N: I hope that Childrentheemuisnotatoy enjoyed Albus' emu/lotion comment. More the emu than the lotion but yeah. Man, this time travel thing is getting confusing to me. My brain hurts. Man. I need to be smarter if I'm going to write something like this. Man. I like that word. Man. I hope it wasn't as taxing on your brain as it was on mine. Much love, G Dawgs from da hood ((beats chest with fist and then proceeds to do the peace sign)) What what!} 


	16. AHH! I Can't Think Of A Title For This C...

Part 16-   
  
Louie was picking some chicken out of his teeth while Brody bitched about something irrelevant. Joel was looking in his daily planner for any assignments he missed. Alice had her fingers in her mouth, biting her nails, with her elbow out in the middle of the walkway. Now, honestly, Alice shouldn't have had her elbow protruding in the hall way, but when Denise Thermapolis and Jason Walker walked right into it and didn't apologize, that was just rude.   
  
"Fuck you!" Alice grunted angrily and whipped around to them. Brody rolled her eyes and turned with her. Joel and Louie followed suit.  
  
"You were in the way." Denise spat rudely and knocked her hair behind her shoulder in a way that made Brody want to gag.  
  
"Not for running into me, you damn whore." Alice said irritably. Denise and Jason stopped. Jason seemed intimidated by Alice's dark stare. "I could hear what you said. It's not true." Brody smiled, Alice had quite the keen sense of hearing.  
  
"How do you know?" Denise asked and cocked her hip.  
  
"Because Megan is off cloneing her dog by now." Alice droned.  
  
"What'd she say, Alice?" Louie asked, finally getting the piece of chicken out of his teeth and flicking it in Denise's general direction. She didn't notice.  
  
"She says Meg went back in time." Alice rolled her eyes.  
  
"It is true. Jason here's best friend Jordan's twin sister Dayna's friend Yoni's friend Paulette heard Krum telling Professor Creevy." Denise said and pushed the small first year boy in front of her.  
  
"Well, with a direct line of communication such as that..." Louie said sarcastically, feeling around his molars for another piece of chicken to get on Denise.  
  
"You can't trust teachers, Jason." Alice said and bent down to his eye level. Jason gulped. "They lie about everything. Snape molests all his first years."  
  
"All of them?" Jason asked with fear.  
  
"Only the boys." Brody said and patted his hair. Jason looked up at Denise who glowered at them.  
  
"You guys are so uninteresting without the other one." Denise said.  
  
"So you found Megan interesting? I always got the impression you hated her." Joel pondered aloud and kept flipping through his planner.  
  
"I do, she was just easier to make fun of." Denise turned around and took Jason under her wing as they went.  
  
"Any news on Daddy's job search?" Louie shouted. Brody slapped his stomach for that and they went on their merry way.  
  
***  
  
"Do you really mean I'm going to marry...him?" Whined a little first year. Megan knocked back the rest of her pumpkin juice.  
  
"Yes, and he becomes big and fat and hairy." Megan said.  
  
"But I want to marry a girl." He said with his finger in his other hand twisting it around.  
  
"Hey, I don't pick the futures, I just tell them." The boy walked away, downtrodden and Megan stuck her finger in her nose. "Bwahahahahaha!" Megan laughed maniacally. Suddenly Professor McGonagall barged into the Gryffindor common room.  
  
"Megan! You need to stop telling people their future now!" She shouted. Megan took her finger out of her nose and smiled at McGonagall.  
  
"I'll tell you yours for free." She said in a sing-song way and patted the chair next to her. McGonagall's iron stare held fast and Megan popped her lips. "Alright I'll stop."  
  
"You had better." McGonagall said. "Dumbledore has talked with your Headmistress." She said. Megan coughed. "He thinks he might have figured something out. The memory serum is already completed but we can't send it out until you're gone."  
  
"Don't say gone. It sounds so final." Megan said.  
  
"It is final! You can't exactly come back." McGonagall sighed. "Go to bed, Megan. Stop making students cry. I want you to sleep with the girls tonight."  
  
"Kinky." Megan mumbled. McGonagall didn't hear her.  
  
"Good-night." And with that, McGonagall left for her quarters.   
  
Megan looked around, the common room was pretty much empty and there was no one left in there she found remotely interesting, so she went up to bed. The girls dorms seemed completely different. There was a mingling of different perfumes and lotions in the air and loud giggles up the stairs. There were shirts on the floor of the hallway as she walked towards the sixth year girls bedroom. Megan hacked a lougie on the floor and opened the door. The girls sat on the beds and Megan saw that there was an extra bed for her in the middle of the room and Megan sighed when she saw that no one would have to sleep on the floor. Tonya smiled at her and then looked back at Lily, they were in a conversation.  
  
"Well, Lil, since Megan says I'm going to marry him and obviously have a kid with him, I think it's pretty pointless for you to still be going out with him when it's not going to lead anywhere." She said and crossed her legs.  
  
"I'm not breaking up with James." Lily said and laid on her bed. Megan went to the bathroom to brush her teeth and listened to them some more.  
  
"Well, it only makes sense. You date people to see if it will end up as a marriage. It's not going anywhere, Lily. You ought to get it over with now so we can go forth through the way the cards were meant to be dealt." Lily was shocked.  
  
"Are you actually going to ask me to stop being James' girlfriend based on what some stupid girl says?"  
  
"I RESENT THAT!" Megan shouted and spit out the lather in her mouth.  
  
"Lily it's pointless." Margaret argued with her.  
  
"I hate to say this, but come on Lily. He isn't going to be right for you." Wilma Valentine said and brushed her blonde hair. Lily sat back and looked at them.  
  
"You three have no idea what you're talking about." Lily said in a huff and pulled the covers over her head. Wilma turned to Megan and shrugged.  
  
"She's stubborn that way." She said and went under her blanket too. Margaret and Tonya went to bed too.   
  
Megan stood in the door way of the bathroom with all the lights off except for the one in the bathroom. It's light cast a long shadow on the floor of Megan's body. She looked at the shadow for a while and then turned off the light. Still standing in the dark, she quickly grabbed her bag and ran. Down the hallway, down the stairs, into the common room, up the stairs, down the hallway and she shoved the door open with her breath escaping her. The boys were all sitting on their beds with the pillows propped behind their backs except for Sirius who sat in a pallet on the floor. Megan smiled and climbed into the bed.   
  
"They wanted to got to sleep." Megan grunted and pulled the sheets up around her. "They're all so boring and plain. I don't know how they'll ever get married, no offense James, but they're so boring. And they like to go to bed early." She sat up and pulled her knees up to her chin.  
  
"Well, those few of us who have school in the morning do need to get a few hours of sleep." Reumus said and pulled the pillows down under his head.  
  
"Oh, Reumus, don't give me that bullshit." Megan said and put her legs back under the blankets. "They might have a way to send me home. I guess it's for the best." Megan said.  
  
"I guess. We can't have you changing the course of history." David said and bit off a piece of a candy.  
  
"I suppose." Megan said. "I still am going to miss this whole experience."   
  
"Not after Dumbledore gives you a memory potion. You won't miss a thing." James said.  
  
"Man, that's going to suck."  
  
"Yeah, but all the crap that would happen if everybody remembered what you said..." Sirius said.  
  
"It's for the best." Megan resolved again. Then they talked about Radcliffe and all of them drifted off to sleep.  
  
{A/N: I hope you guys are enjoying Megan! This was a realatively short. Welp, mucho love-o g dawgs. Responsible Readers Respond. OH! And Jess the Great: I'm glad you enjoyed the clam chowder thing! Brings new meaning to 'hot pockets'} 


	17. The Kareoke Queen

Part 17-  
  
"MAKE ME SO HORNY!" Megan shouted and put the hairbrush to her lips. "Oo Rumplesmooth skin, you say you wanna get in my benz?" She stood up on the couch and kept dancing. Rotating her butt in the reflection from the glass table. She jumped from the couch and kept rapping. "My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hon'." She said and thrusted her pelvis with every sylabble. And as if the song had been cut off, the door shut and in front of it stood Lily. Megan put the brush down by her leg and stood still.  
  
"What anaconda?" Lily asked.  
  
"This never happened." Megan said. Lily nodded.  
  
"Never." Lily said and made her way up to her dorm. Shaking her head in embarrassment for Megan she picked up her Charms book and turned back around. Coming down the stairs, wondering why someone would want to have a pet anaconda. She realized the not so inconspicious sexual innuendo of that lyric and came to the door.  
  
"BRANDY, YOU'RE A FINE GIRL! What a good wife you would be! But my life, my love and my lady is the seeeeeeaaaaaaa." Megan said with her eyes closed, belting into the hairbrush.  
  
"I thought you learned your lesson." Lily said. Megan came up from the floor, where she was singing, and bit her finger.  
  
"It's all an illusion?" Megan more requested than said.  
  
"I can only hope." Lily said and then left. When Lily left Megan went back to her a cappella kareoke contest with herself. At the end of which she declared that Megan Potter was the queen of kareoke.  
  
Lily ran down the hall to Professor O'Toole's Charms class. She slid back in the door and gave a nod to O'Toole who shook his head disapprovingly and returned to the lesson. Lily took her seat next to Sirius who took out a piece of parchment and scrawled something in it. He then slid the paper to Lily.  
  
'Why were you gone so long?'  
  
'Megan was dancing in the common room. I had to tell her to calm down.'  
  
'Dancing?'  
  
'Yeah, she was singing into a hairbrush. Maybe time travel isn't doing to well for that girl's brain.'  
  
'What was she singing?'  
  
'Something about an anaconda and then Brandy.'  
  
'The song about the sea?'  
  
'Yes'  
  
'That is a crazy man right there. The cold, wet, salty sea over a girl!'  
  
'I'm not the person to be telling this to Sirius. Maybe a prostitute is more along the lines for this.'  
  
'You're so funny. I'm laughing hysterically. On the inside.' Lily looked up at him as she finished reading his note. His face was unwaivering from the professor. His expression stayed in an unblinking phoney anger. She smiled and stuck the note in the middle of her charms book and started paying attention to the lesson as well.  
  
Meanwhile, Megan had gotten tired of her singing. She didn't exactly have the voice of a goddess. More that of a dying horse. And she was out of breath from dancing. The coushins on the couches were sprawled out on the floor for her rendition of 'I'll Make Love To You' in which she felt it necessary to roll around on the floor and the coushins were much more comfortable than the bare floor.  
  
She layed on the floor, her head propped in the middle of the three couch coushins, and just hummed. There was suddenly a foot about to come crashing down on her face and Megan knew it was going to break her nose. She screamed as the foot came to a halt right at the tip of her nose.  
  
"Fucking wuss." She heard a familiar female say. She sat up and turned to face her assailent who was none other than...  
  
"Bro-dawg?" To say Megan was confused would be to call the Atlantic Ocean slightly damp. "How-"  
  
"What the hell are you doing? Lying on the ground? Have you been singing again?" Megan sat up and looked at her. Brody had her hands on her hips and her head tilted.  
  
"Stop asking questions!" Megan shouted. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"What does it look like I'm doing, you dumb shit? I'm trying to look out for you."  
  
"Bro-dawg, how can you be? I'm forty years earlier than you are."  
  
"Well, if that doesn't make for an excuse for me to stop caring about you than I don't know what does. You need to hurry up and get your sorry ass back home, Radcliffe is driving us nutso!"  
  
"Cliffe?" Megan bit her finger and stood up.  
  
"Denise too. She keeps starting rumors. She knows you've managed to go back in time. How did you manage that?" Brody picked up a coushin and tossed it on the couch and then went to sit on it.  
  
"I fell through a time vortex. Well that's what Dumbledore thinks." Megan picked up the other two coushins and sat on the couch next to Brody.  
  
"You need to come home." Brody said. This was the first hint of seriousness Megan had heard in her voice for the whole conversation.  
  
"I can't go home, Bro-dawg. I'll go to Alakazam. That's not exactly a place I'd care to go." Megan pulled her leg under her butt with her other leg dangling offf the couch.  
  
"First of all, it's Azkaban. Secondly, it's just got to be done." Brody was being very serious now.  
  
"I know. I know. He's working on it." Megan said.  
  
"10, 23. 10, 49." Brody said mistily.  
  
"Pardon?"  
  
"10, 23. 10, 49." She repeated.  
  
"10, 23. 10, 49? What the hell does that mean?" Megan asked.  
  
"Don't forget it." Brody began to fade out and so did the rest of the room. But the numbers stayed imprinted in Megan's brain. What for? Megan had no idea but they were there.  
  
She shot up off the floor with a sudden jump and looked around the room. Behind her, on the couch, at the coushins. Everything was how she left it before Brody had visited. Then the numbers came to her. She hurried to her feet and grabbed a quill and piece of parchment someone had left out in the common room the night before.  
  
'10 23 10 49.' Megan wrote and stuck it in her pocket. It was lunch time and she knew exactly where Dumbledore could be found.  
  
{A/N: Ooo, cryptic dream message... Ooo! Numbers! Oooo! Wonder what it means? I guess you'll have to tune in for another exciting chapter of... OUR PET GIRL! (trumpet noises). Always enthralling with extreme action and flashy graphics! LASER LIGHT SHOW NEXT CHAPTER! WOOP WOOP! Or maybe just more cursing and rude comments, of course that's a given. Ooo! Guess what I learned? Kokkest. It's Norweigen for dickcheese! Yay forgein insults!!! Woop Woop! Much Love. R/R/R!} 


	18. Fucker

Part 18-  
  
Megan hurried down the hall with the numbers in her pocket. She kept chanting them to herself in case she lost the paper somehow. Looking up at the paintings she wasn't paying attention infront of her. Down the hall came Lucius Malfoy. He saw her on his way to the bathroom and stopped. Leaning against an opening to the adjacent hallway he waited for her to come rushing past her. She did and he started talking.  
  
"Well, hello Megan." He said. Megan stopped at the sound of her name and turned to him.  
  
"Hello Slimy Haired Person I've never seen before." She said and smiled. He looked down at his fingers.  
  
"Slimy? I am far from slimy. No Malfoy is Slimy." A smile of revelation came across her face.  
  
"I HAVE seen you before!" She declared and punched him in the arm harder than she had meant to. "How goes it gramps?"  
  
"Gramps?"  
  
"You're like a grandfather to me!" She said and punched him again.  
  
"Well, then would you stop hitting me?" He said and shoved her away. "No way to treat your elders you know." Megan nodded approvingly. She held up three fingers and swayed them infront of his face.  
  
"What in Merlin's name are you doing?" He asked and knocked her arm down.  
  
"Well, in my time you can't see for shit." She put her hand back up.  
  
"I see perfectly well now so you can stop." She kept waving her hand.  
  
"How many fingers am I holding up." She said.  
  
"Three, now leave me alone. I only needed to talk to you so I could see what everyone was talking about." He turned his head haughtily.  
  
"How 'bout now?" She asked and put down her index and ring finger and smiled. She dashed away and headed towards the Great Hall. When she arrived she looked immediately at the Teacher's table. Dumbledore was gone.  
  
"Dammit!" She exclaimed. "Who am I supposed to give this to?" She said and pulled the parchment out of her pocket.  
  
"Megan!" James said and called for her to come over to their table. Megan shrugged and sat down, putting the parchment back in her pocket. Today's lunch, Chicken fingers and French fries. They were very good. As she ate, a tall black haired boy walked behind her and she could see Reumus and Sirius snickering.   
  
"What's so funny?" She asked. They pointed at him as he walked around the table and sauntered to the far table, which (by looking at the robes), Megan recognized as Slytherin's table.  
  
"Servus Snape, he's a real- Hey! Where are you going?" Megan jumped from her seat and followed the black haired boy. The back of his hair came together in a black tuft at the nape of his neck. Megan, in a hurried walk, reached for it and pulled, making the boy stop and turn around. He turned, shocked and grabbed at his neck.  
  
"What do you think you are doing?" He asked and slapped her hand away. Megan thought she saw his eye twitch, but only momentarily.  
  
"You are an evil, pessimistic, biased bastard." She declared and stomped on his foot. Standing there, between, the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw tables, they looked like they were performing, but this was no act. Megan was reaping her vengeance on Snape for all the detentions, deductions of points and grades, and embarrassing moments he had put her through. Dumbledore came the Great Hall from behind the teachers table. Minerva jumped up ready to stop what ever was about to happen, but Albus put a hand on her shoulder and she stopped.  
  
"Let's see where this is going." He said and she sat down.  
  
"I don't know where it's going, but Snape will be in the hospital wing if we don't do something." Dumbledore shushed her and they watched. As they watched, Megan had her fists balled and wating to shoot to Servus' face.  
  
"You know what kind of stupid things you gave me detention for? Gum! Gum! Twenty points from Gryffindor and a weeks detention for chewing gum." She said and punched his gut. Some timid applause came from the back end of the Gryffindor table.  
  
"I'm sorry! I don't know what you're talking about!" He shouted, doubled over.  
"I pity the fool who don't know what I'm talking about." She said and kicked his legs out from under him and pounced on his stomach.  
  
"You're crazy!" He shouted and tried to push her off of him.  
  
"Shut up you One-Eyed Asshole!" Snape stopped cowering for a moment and looked at her with suprise and confusion.  
  
"I have two eyes." He said and she punched his face.  
  
"Not anymore, bitch!" The Great Hall in an uproar, someone finally pulled Megan off of her defenseless victim. She spat at him and as they pulled her away she shouted a warning.  
  
"YOU REMEMBER THIS IN FORTY YEARS! YOU REMEMBER!" She screamed and they drug her away.  
  
Later on in McGonagall's office she paced and looked at Megan, who's hair was all ruffled. Megan sat daintily with her hands red and her face in a beaming smile.  
  
"Do you know how much trouble you should be in?" She asked and finally sat down.  
  
"What are you going to do? Take points from me?" Megan said sarcastically and crossed her other leg.  
  
"Not now Megan. These comments, they aren't helping." Megan, angry, stuck her hands in her pockets and felt a piece of paper. When she realized what it was she had a sudden look of revelation and she jumped up from the chair.  
  
"Where's Dumbledore?" She asked and headed to the door.  
  
"In his office, Megan!" But she had already left. Megan ran down the corridor and then found the gargoyle guarding his office.  
  
"Hogwarts: a History." She said by habit. When the gargoyle stayed in place she remembered. She started spouting random words at the gargoyle. "Dance! Grass! Applesauce! Testicles! Piercing! Labia! Votre Maman! Kokkest! Vomit! Jelly Bean!" As arbitrary words started to loose their possibility of working she started singing. After two verses of Billy Idol's 'White Wedding' She then tried an even less likely song.  
  
"Shit, piss, fuck cunt, cock sucker, mother fucker, ti-" And then it opened. Megan stopped. She stood completely still and watched the gargoyle. "Professor Dumbledore, tsk tsk." She said to herself and then went down the stairs.  
  
When she got to the bottom of the stairs there was the waiting room and then the door. She ran through the room and then opened the door. Dumbledore sat at his desk with an origami swan levitating above a glass of water. He saw her and grabbed the swan before it fell in the water.  
  
"If it isn't the heavy weight champ." He said and smiled. Megan came over to his desk wth the paper in her hand. "You- What's this?" He asked, the paper now underneath his nose.  
  
"Brody gave me these numbers." She heaved.  
  
"Who is Brody?" He asked.  
  
"It doesn't matter who Brody is. All that matters is that you tell me what they mean. If she visited me through my dreams it had to be pertinent." Dumbledore looked at the slip of paper.  
  
"It could mean something." He said and wrote the numbers down on a piece of his own paper. He arranged them in all sorts of orders. Possibly a combination, but to what. An address? But to where? After tinkering with the idea of measurements that Megan offered and sizing herself up, Albus unlocked something as he looked at the clock on the wall. The time and date sang to him like a choir of angels.  
  
"Ten forty-nine on October twenty-third." He said, his eyes brightening.  
  
"What happens then?" Megan asked, a ruler resting on her left butt cheek.  
  
"Something that we need to figure it out soon. It's in two days."  
  
{A/N: Man, I've made Dumbledore so stupid. I've made all these characters so stupid. Megan couldn't figure out where she was for half the story. Dumbledore can't figure out the numbers. Of course I'm sure you all can. You're quite the bright bunch. Much Love!- Ashleigh} 


	19. Memories, Misty WaterColored Memories

Part 19-  
  
"Wand, wand, wand..." Megan said as she collected her bag of things.  
  
"If you leave my life will be so...so...so boring! So not perverted! When will I talk about poop?" Sirius said as she looked under Reumus' bed.  
  
"You guys can still talk about poop." She said as she popped up from the floor, her hair flying behind her.  
  
"But it won't be the same." Peter whined.  
  
"There's no one to make fun of about liking a Malfoy now." James said. Megan scowled at him.  
  
"And who will make out with Lily before bed for us?" Darryl asked. Megan stopped and turned around with disgust on her face.  
  
"That's like my grandma, you know." She said.  
  
"The thought never ran through my mind." David said mischeviously.  
  
"You're disgusting." Megan said and picked up the nearest article of clothing and chucked it at them.  
  
"Megan!" Sirius whined.  
  
"I've still got a day." She said.  
  
"I know, but that's all." James said with finality.  
  
Megan sighed and walked around pretending to look for her wand but really she was understanding that her visit to the past WAS over. Or at least over in a day. Dumbledore and McGonagall had figured that maybe, 10:49 on October 23 was the time and date that the time loop in the forest was opeining up. So now Megan was packing up her things, packing her possesions into the one bag she brought with her for this unexpected two week stay. It was time to go.  
  
"We have to do something." Sirius said. Megan was in another room and the boys were all sitting around sullenly when the thought ran through his mind.  
  
"There's nothing we can do. If she doesn't go back to the future she could alter the delicate equilibrium of time." Reumus said.  
  
"I think you just wanted to say 'equilibrium.' Just then, yeah, so you could sound all smart and stuff." David said. Reumus rolled his eyes and returned his eyes to his friends.  
  
"I don't mean do something about Megan leaving. Do something disobedient before she does." Sirius corrected.  
  
"Disobedient?" James said, a gleam in his eye.  
  
"Oo! Oo! This could be good." And they began to plot. They came up with a very 'disobedient' plan as our good friend Sirius said. And they waited for Megan to come back to the dorm room. But the feeling of excitement of their devious plan was not felt by all.  
  
"Guys, we could get in big trouble for this." Peter squeaked as they were coming up with the idea.  
  
"They can't exactly punish us, we're going to lose our memory of Megan after tomorrow and they can't do anything or else they'll have to make up some excuse and I really think the teachers are too lazy to do that." Sirius said and waved off his comment.  
  
"Sirius, the teachers aren't lazy." James reasoned.  
  
"Yes they are! And they're assholes too! I was out past curfew and they took my cake!" Megan stormed in the room and kicked off her shoes, the soles of them bouncing from the floor to the celing. "I hate them! Hate them!"  
  
"What cake?"  
  
"I got some cake from the kitchen. It was good. I didn't get to finish it because McGonagall thought it would be a bad idea for me to have 'such a big cake for such a late night.' Fuck her! Fuck that stupid lady!" Megan threw her shoe against the wall.  
  
"How big was this cake, Megan?" Reumus asked.  
  
"I saved you guys a piece too." Megan said with an innocent smile.  
  
"How big was this cake, Megan?" He repeated.  
  
"How big are cakes usually?" Reumus then made a shape around his arms about the size of a basketball hoop infront of his stomach. Megan nodded.   
  
"Megan, thats a big cake."  
  
"I saved you guys a piece."  
  
"Where's that piece now?" James asked, his stomach rumbled.  
  
"I told you McGonagall took it." They nodded and were ready to change the topic. Megan was not. "And then I reasoned with her and got it back. And then the walk up those stairs... That really tires you out. So I ate that one too."  
  
"You ate an entire cake?" Sirius said, shaking his head.  
  
"It was really good- lemon." Megan smiled.   
  
"You've really got to cut down on your eating, Megan." James warned. "You're going to be as big as a house." Sirius concurred silently, but profusely. Megan turned to him with a glare.  
  
"Oh shut up, you're just jealous because you're old and can't get it up."   
  
"Can't get what up?" Peter asked, confused. Megan looked at their faces, blank, unresponsive. Then she lowered her glance to their crotches and looked at them all in a circle and then raised her head back to Peter.  
  
"I think you know."  
  
"That doesn't happen!" James said, feeling violated.  
  
"It'll never happen to you that is." Megan said and bit her nail. "You know what they say, Die Young, Stay Erect!" Feeling more violated then ever (having discussed, not only his death, but his penis as well) James turned his head to Sirius who had a look of sheer disgust on his face. "Sirius on the other hand," Megan began as if an answer to his look. "glad to say, you never reproduce. Peter castrates himself." Peter's hand went to his groin for unnecessary protection.  
  
"What about me?" Reumus asked timidly.  
  
"You became a professor. I really know nothing of your sex life. I could lie." It's not like she hadn't lied about (or at least embelished) on all of their stories already, but decided not to say anything at all. Then she changed her mind. "You mack on all the girl students."  
  
"Is macking good?" Reumus asked hopefully.  
  
"Very." Megan smiled and punched him. "You dirty man-slut." Sirius looked at the clock and then hopped off the bed, plucking his wand off the bedside table.  
  
"Alright, Megan. We have a suprise for you." He said and they all got up. Megan smiled gleefully. "We need you to follow us." Megan chuckled and followed them, a spring in her step, out the dorm, into the common room, down the tower, into the corridor and then eventually, outside.  
  
The group stood in a circle, very cold, Megan was actually barefoot. They looked up at the castle in the darkness, no lights flickering in the windows, no bustling around. Minus the sound of stone scraping against stone as stairs moved, there was nothing but owls, humming in the owlry. Megan belched while they stood shuddering to keep warm.  
  
"What the hell do you have to show me out here." All six boys pulled out their wands simultaneously. "What the hell was that!? Did you rehearse that or something?! Were their practices?"  
  
"Can't we do something nice for you, Megan? You're leaving us." David said. Megan smiled at him, that ws the first thing he had ever said to her that hadn't made her either cringe or want to beat him up for lying so badly.  
  
"Ready?" Sirius asked. They nodded and in unison cast their spell.  
  
"Accio Furniture." With a trademark (of wizardry) flick and swish, the entirety of Hogwarts unoccupied furniture was floating outside the windows of Hogwarts and then they cast another spell. "Wingaurdium Leviosa." The desks and chairs and couches and beds hoovered in the air and then sat gently on the roof.  
  
Megan's face filled with joy. She smiled at the furniture on the roof and the lights suddenly turning on in the windows as people noticed missing beds and couches and chairs. It was very interesting to hear a young Servus Snape cuss loudly when he found the entire Potions dungeon empty of everything when he thought he was to blame with his amazing potions skills. (Psh...). She turned to them and suddenly thought altering the fabric of time wasn't such a big deal.  
  
"This is like the time that me and Bro-dawg and Louie and Alice and Joel destroyed the Slytherin common room." Sirius nodded.  
  
"That was the idea." He said and smiled.  
  
"Only then we got caught." Then, Professor McGonagall came around the side of the castle in her cloak over her night things. She did not look as overjoyed as Megan did.  
  
"OH MY GOD!" Megan screamed with happiness, bouncing and clapping. "Now it's exactly like that time!"  
  
{A/N: God, this took long enough! Mad love guys! Hope you enjoyed it.} 


	20. Swoosh!

Part 20-  
  
*6:45 A.M.*  
  
Megan stood in the center of the room, the eye of the hurricane. The drone of snoring boys floating around her. She bit her bottom lip and looked out the window behind her. The sun was rising over the trees lazily, with thin gray clouds floating by. She turned back around and looked over at Reumus lying in his bed, splayed out with his mouth open and a bit of drool coming from his mouth. She grinned a little.  
  
"Wake up!" She shouted. They all shot up with a start and groaned when they saw the earliness of the day and Megan's smiling face.  
  
"What time is it?" Sirius rumbled and rubbed his eye, the back of his hair sticking up in a cowlick grandly.  
  
"Almost seven." She said and walked over to his bed as he got out of it, she then climbed in it pulled the covers up around her waist and sat up, propping the pillows behind her back.  
  
"Wha-" Sirius questioned sleepily.  
  
"It's my last day, and I think a good way to celebrate is breakfast in bed." She declared with a smile and patted the comforter and then tugged at her braids that went down either side of her face.  
  
"Get out of my bed." Sirius said, ignoring her.  
  
"You're being selfish." She replied. "Now go make me breakfast." Sirius looked at her like he was trying to get angry. "Well, you don't actually have to MAKE it, just collect some muffins and such and bring them back up here on a platter and feed me. Oh, and you fan me while he does it." She said and pointed to Peter, who seemed just flabbergasted.  
  
"So, six fifty-two actually exists." James said and looked at his watch. "Hrm, thought it was just an urban legend..." Then he yawned.  
  
"Well, since you're all up, you might as well do my biding."  
  
"Get out of my bed." Sirius whined. Megan stayed put. "Why not have James do it, he's your grandpa."  
  
"He never did anything for me." She said indignantly.  
  
"That's because I'm dead by the time you're born." James said and pulled on his shoes.  
  
  
  
"You didn't have to be." Megan said and gave Peter a glare. "That's the stink-eye. Oo, giving you the stink-eye!" She growled.  
  
*7:30*  
  
After a good hour of trying to convince Megan that she would have to feed herself and that she would not be fanned they finally started getting ready. Getting downstairs ("WHAT! I could be sitting in that bed, but I actually have to DESCEND the stairs!" Was Megan's great lament) they were met by many confused stares and didn't realize it was Sirius' still very apparent cowlick that caused these.   
  
They came in the Great Hall and were met at the door by Lily who smiled and gave Megan a hug.  
  
"It's nice to see you Megan." Lily said, cheerily.  
  
"You wouldn't have to see me if these boys would have just been kind enough to feed and fan me!" She said with her arms crossed haughtily as if they were denying her of some privilege she deserved.  
  
"Why would they feed and fan you?"  
  
"It's only appropriate treatment for an Egyptian princess." She said and posed.  
  
"You're not Egyptian, much less an Egyptian princess." Reumus said and rolled his eyes.  
  
"Do not talk to the Megan!" She said and stuck her hand in his face, then slapped her leg loudly. "The Megan is mad at you!" She said and repeated the action.  
  
"THE Megan?" Sirius asked.  
  
"You do not like The Megan?" She asked and slapped her leg again.  
  
"Let's go sit down." Sirius said and they filed towards the table, Megan rubbing her leg where she had been slapping herself. It really hurt.  
  
"I'm going to miss Megan. Remember that time we found her in the forest and we thought she was a wild animal?" Sirius said reminiscently, with a piece of cantaloupe speared on his fork.  
  
"Glad to know you think so highly of me, Sirius." Megan said and grumbled.  
  
"Yeah, remember that time she locked herself in the bathroom because she was mad at us about Jim Morrison?" Peter asked. The group concurred with a laugh.  
  
"Guys, let's not think about what we're going to miss about Megan." Lily offered, looking sad.  
  
"Remember when she tried to sleep in my bed while I was in it, and then she seduced me?" Darryl asked.  
  
"No." David said, confused. "I actually don't remember that. Are you sure it wasn't me she was trying to seduce?"  
  
"Positive." Darryl said with a grin and a nudge of his elbow into his brother's side. Megan rolled her eyes and looked into her plate of bacon.  
  
"You know what I'm going to like the most about Megan being gone?" James said. "Sleeping in my bed."  
  
"Yeah. You know what I'm going to like the most about her being gone? Not getting punched as much." He said and lifted his sleeve enough to where his bruise on his upper arm was visible.   
  
"You know what I'm going to like the most about being gone, you guys not talking about me like I'm not here when I'm sitting right here." She said and poked Sirius in the arm with her fork.  
  
*10:30*  
  
As they congregated at the edge of the forest Megan felt the wind blow from the trees and leaves rustling around on the ground, she sighed and smelt the air. It smelled exactly like it did in 2018 but there was a different feeling to it. An air of the end. Dumbledore drew his wand and smiled at her, his spectacles rising with his cheeks.  
  
"Just in case." He said with a wink and proceeded down the path. James, Sirius, Reumus and Peter filed behind her, as she followed the Professor. The wind blew again and she pulled her bag tighter to her. James laid a caring eye on her and she smiled, he smiled back.  
  
"It's a shame." She said, looking off into the distance. James gave a questioning look.  
  
"What?"  
  
"That you don't get to meet Harry. He's a good kid, even though he's a real asshole sometimes, he's a good kid." She said, still not looking at them.  
  
"Yeah." He said, not sure of what to say.  
  
"You don't really get to know a kid in a year. Guy wasn't even talking!" She said, getting a little teary-eyed.  
  
"Megan are you alr-"  
  
"I mean, it had to be rough on him you know. Not having a dad. Or a mom for that matter!" She cut Sirius off instantly.  
  
"There is no time for this tangent, Ms. Potter." Dumbledore said soothingly. "We have exactly, nine minuets until we need to be at this vortex. Come on, hurry up boys and Megan." They scurried behind him, Megan wiping warm tears from her comparatively cold face from the wind.  
  
Then there was the familiar clearing. The opening in the trees, the beaten path that seemed to expand out of nowhere where the boys used to meet to discuss trouble. Megan saw the trees and the space between them where soon there would be the silver-y, purple, metallic film that would somehow take her back.  
  
"Megan, what are you doing?" She was on all fours running her hands across the ground, intertwining her fingers with plants and grass, dirt running over her hands.  
  
"The cloak! I dropped the invisibility cloak here when I got here and I never found it. My dad'll kill me if I come back and it's gone!"   
  
And with a whir and a bright purple haze the vortex was there. Megan's face was illuminated by the glow and she had to sheild her eyes. She turned around and Dumbledore raised his eyebrows. She shot up from the ground and quickly hugged her counterparts and dashed through the vortex. And as it swallowed her, Dumbledore turned to the boys and with a wave of his wand they had never heard of Megan Potter.  
  
{A/N: Damn, that took a while. Enjoy.} 


End file.
